NANOWRIMO Day 18: 5823 Words (22753 total)
Another week passed. A very long week. Sue wasn’t withdrawing inward, as I had been. She reached out to those closest to her. Me, Carol, some friend of hers from high school who I didn’t know (she was cute, though. Hot little number. If she was anyone other than my sister’s friend, I would have jumped on that opportunity. As it was, I met back up with that woman from the bar last week. I had been right about what Pete was saying to her as I left. I was able to work the sympathy angle pretty well. And she showed me just how much sympathy she had for me. It was a good time. But I was distracted, so it wasn’t as much fun as it could have been. Oddly enough, I spent more time thinking about Carol, and oddly enough, Lacie, than anything else that had happened in the last couple weeks.), and Lauren as well. Which was another thing that was odd. I hadn’t realized they were so close. Man, things had changed a lot since I was last here. Carol and Lauren didn’t show any of the enmity I was expecting. Well, Lauren didn’t, at least. Carol didn’t really show any either, but she did have a way of looking rather oddly at Lauren. I couldn’t quite place what it was, I guess because I was still dealing with a lot and my inner sense was jumbled. Whenever Carol glanced at me and found I had caught her looking at Lauren in that peculiar sort of way, she would turn around and start talking to somebody else. It was all very confusing. As was everything with Carol, at the moment.
Carol hadn’t said anything about the time we were alone since it happened. True to her word, she was going to wait until I was ready to talk. Which wasn’t going to be for quite some time. I was very confused about what I felt about Carol, and her marriage. I also could not help thinking of Lacie. I missed her, I realized. And when I did go back to the city, I knew that she, unlike that other broad from the bar, would really appreciate what I was going through and sympathize with me. And she would show just how she appreciated it, but not just in the way you’d expect. She’d hold me while I cried, take care of me, hell, probably even make me some soup. It was really strange. Our little business deal had changed since it first started, obviously, but this was something I had never quite expected. I was actually starting to truly care for her, as one might care for a, well, someone you loved. I wouldn’t say that I did love her, but it was certainly approaching that. After all my experiences with “love”, especially the last one, I had never expected to love again. Or feel anything even remotely close to love, for that matter. I rubbed my shoulder again in painful memory. Well, it seemed like I felt like being sentimental. I guess all these feelings were drawing out the memories.
The first woman I ever loved was Carol. She was my girlfriend in high school, and we had been through a lot. I still had generally fond memories of her and our time together. But it was not to be. I don’t know what started it, but gradually we drifted farther apart. We argued a lot. Eventually, I told her I needed some time away from home, that I was feeling trapped and stuck in this small little town. She didn’t understand, and we had a huge fight over that. So I left, never looking back. Despite all that, I was still young and naïve about love, and the world. Which I guess would explain Season.
Season was a girl I met in the city. She was the daughter of two hippie parents who lived somewhere in the mountains of Vermont. Which would explain her name. She was a peace loving, marijuana smoking, politically active young woman who believed could change the world. Some of that belief transferred to me (me, the cynical uncaring cold individual who hated politics! Well, this is one of the reasons I am that now.), and we set out to change the world. To win it over to peace and harmony. I don’t know how much of it I really believed and how much of it was just the newness and the difference of the experience. At any rate, we eloped (my parents loved that. Hers thought it was “groovy”.) and began getting active and involved. We protested war, pollution, destruction of the rain forests, everything. Then we met that damned politician. He was a hippie, just like Season (I’ve blocked his name from my memory, even now), and he was a key note speaker at some rally we went to. He was young, charismatic, good looking (I guess. I’m not really that good of a judge on what women find attractive in men Hell, look at me. I certainly wouldn’t find myself attractive if I was a chick), enthusiastic, inspiring leader who was going to Washington to change everything. Season started working for his campaign, and I tagged along. She was in total awe of the man. And he was winning, too. He was kicking the crap out of the incumbent conservative in the polls, and it looked like a sure thing. Then the story broke a month before the election that he was having an affair with one of his campaign workers. And, surprise, surprise, it turned out to be Season. His wife left him, and he was in disgrace. And I was disillusioned about everything. I turned right around and went back to the city. I don’t know what ever happened to Season. She probably ended up in some commune somewhere. Who the hell knows.
So, somewhat disillusioned and hurt and confused, I returned to the city and began working odd jobs. I met a waitress named Beth at some run down diner. We hit it off. We decided to get married. I don’t know why. Guess she was getting a little older for never having been married and wanted to do so before it was too late. So she settled for me. She was nice, but we weren’t really a good match. We argued a lot. Guess that was all I could do with the women I was with. We ended up pushing each other away, just like Carol and I had. Yet this time I turned to Carol for comfort instead of out right running away. We had an affair, several in fact. This started a long history of hooking up whenever I was in town. It worked for both of us. We both still had feelings for each other, but neither of us could make a commitment to the other. Well, at least I couldn’t. That affair saved my sanity when I came home, which I did a lot, but not when I was back in the city. To escape my arguing with Beth, I took up drinking. Which only led to more arguments. So I got a job as a private investigator, working for some company to find out other people’s dirty secrets. I was good at it. Both from my natural intuitive people reading skills, and from my willingness to work long hours to get the job done. Which didn’t go over too well with my wife. Well, eventually she had had enough, and we got a divorce. Yet another life I had ruined in my path.
This led to a very dark period in my life. I drank a lot, got involved with many things that I really shouldn’t have. Went to jail a few times. Got shot once, after one of my cases led me too close to the mob. Drank a lot, gambled a lot, took up with strange women a lot. It was not my finest hour. One of the many women I was with, Vanessa, got pregnant. We decided to get married, for the good of the child, or something like that. Stupid reason at any rate. I tried to play the role of the dutiful husband and expecting father. I even gave up drinking. Shocking, I know! I stopped working such long hours, and things were actually starting to go well again. I was losing so much of my cynicism and negativity, and actually, dare I say it, starting to get happy again. For the first time in a long, long time, I was thinking I might have a chance at happiness. I was stupid to think it would ever be possible. The baby was stillborn. And with it went everything that held our relationship together. Vanessa got really depressed, and so did I. Just when I should have been there for her most, I wasn’t. I did what I had done before. I turned to drinking, working, and to Carol. We had another affair, and I spent more time drinking and working then I did anything else. Vanessa and I barely talked to each other. And then in what would lead to one of the worst days of my life, I got another case. The second time I had that feeling. But, I ignored it and plowed on ahead. Sure enough, in some warehouse in the city, when I should have been having dinner with my wife, I got too close to something, and got shot for my troubles. And at what I figure to be at almost the exact time as I got shot, God showed me his sense of irony and Vanessa committed suicide. Like I said, one of the worst days of my life.
I spent a long time recovering in the hospital, but it wasn’t just from being shot. I had killed Vanessa. Oh, I didn’t kill her in any legal sense of the word, but I had driven her to kill herself. And that death weighed heavily upon me. I was more miserable at that moment than any other time in my life (up to that point at least. My life is filled with wonderful examples of misery, bitter, bitter, misery.). I had a bad habit of pushing away women that I loved, and who loved me. Somehow, I managed to maintain a hold on my depression. I thought about killing myself. Several times. Had it all set up once, too. I was going to do it. I had bought some rope and made a noose. Hung it from a beam in the ceiling. I was literally standing on my chair, with my neck in the rope, ready to kick the chair over, when my phone rang. I got down from the chair, and answered in what must have been a very confused voice. It was my little sister Sue, calling me to wish me a happy birthday. Was it my birthday? Already? I had lost track of the days. She said she knew I was sad, but that I should be happy, because she made me a cake. Told me I should come eat it, before she got too hungry and ate it all by herself. Little kids have such a way with words. I told her I’d leave immediately and be right there. And I left.
I never told Sue that she had saved my life. That cake she made, with a little bit of help from mom (she was only ten at the time), was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted. While I was there, both Carol and Lauren came to see me. Lauren gave me a big hug, and looked into my eyes. She obviously knew what was going on behind them, or what had been going on behind them before I talked to Sue. “Don’t you dare, Mickey. I don’t care what you’re feeling. Don’t you dare.” I didn’t answer her, only hugged her back more fiercely. Carol came by later, and showed me what there was to live for in her own special way. Being with her never got old. So the three women from my home town, the three women I spent a lot of time with this past week (and a cute little friend), saved my life that day. I never told any of them, and I don’t think any but Lauren knew, or at least had an inkling, but they saved my life. And I am eternally grateful for their compassion.
Which just about covers everything to date except for Lacie. Well, not everything. I can never for get the day the door to my office opened and in walked… No. Some things are still too painful to think about, even in this sentimental state. At any rate, Sue was going to be okay, and she was recovering nicely, both emotionally and physically. At the end of the week, I was able to take her home. She came home in a wheel chair, but she came home. She was still in bad shape, but Sue was resilient, and tough as anything. I would not be surprised if she were to be up and training for a marathon in the next couple of weeks. Emotionally, she was doing alright. She was still very upset, and we both cried a lot. It helped her when I took her to their graves. It was harder on me than it was on her, I think. I was troubled by more guilty feelings of staying away from home too much to be able to tell my parents how much they meant to me. How sorry I was that I had screwed up my life and not given them any grandchildren. Sue laid down some flowers on the graves, and said a prayer and her good byes. I suffered with guilt while she got peace of mind. It was entirely worth it.
After a few days, things were getting back to normal. I needed to check in on things back in the city. I walked downstairs, yawning, to the smell of breakfast. The hell? Sue had better not be cooking! I tucked my robe around me and stormed down the stairs. “Seuss, what in God’s name do you think you’re doing up?? And cooking! I don’t care how tough you think you are, this is…” My tirade trailed off as I reached the bottom of the stairs and turned into the kitchen. There was Sue, alright. But sitting in a chair, obediently not having anything to do with any cooking, trying to look meek and contain her laughter at the same time. And failing miserably on both accounts.
“Good morning, grumpy,” Carol said, coming over to me. She kissed me on the cheek, and took my arm. “Why don’t you have a seat? Breakfast will be ready real soon.” She guided me to a seat. I blinked.
“Really, Mickey. What’s with all the shouting? I know you’re surly in the morning, but this is a little inconsiderate.” Pete set down a cup of coffee and gave me a grin. “What if we’d all been sleeping?” He turned back to the counter and got back to more important matters than myself. He was buttering several pieces of toast.
Lauren laughed from behind the fridge door. She set some orange juice and milk on the table and pat my head. “You’d think he’d be grateful we were making breakfast.”
“Mickey, grateful? Ha!” Eddie cackled from the stove. He was finishing up some eggs and bacon.
“Yeah, Laur. Come on. You should know better than that,” Joe said as he put down the paper. “I mean, yeah, you’re more compassionate and naïve than the rest of us, but even you can’t give Mickey that kind of credit.” Pete laughed at that, and got a hand towel thrown over his head for his affront.
“Peter, you had best watch yourself or you’re likely to end up with a nasty surprise.” Lauren went back to the fridge.
I blinked again. “Uhh, morning guys. So, uh, any reason on why I’m getting the pleasure of your company and being unmercifully assaulted by you?”
“Other than the fact that you’re a heartless bastard?” Joe asked sweetly? Sue almost fell out of her chair laughing.
“Thanks for waiting until I was done swallowing. Could have been real messy.” She touched one of her ribs. “Ow. It hurts to laugh,” she announced with a smile.
“Sorry about that Sue.” Joe glanced at Lauren, who had raised her eyebrow and was hefting a potentially deadly ice cube in her right hand. “Excuse my foul tongue, my lady.” He gave an elaborate and ridiculous bow to Lauren. She inclined her head, satisfied that the ruffian would not be needing her deadly projectile. So she settled for putting it down the back of Pete’s shirt. He yelped rather loudly, and chased Lauren around the kitchen with the butter knife, her laughing all the way. “Anyway,” Joe continued, ducking his head to avoid the vicious butter knife, “we thought you could use a nice send off breakfast before you left today.”
Everyone nodded, except Lauren and Pete, who were engaged in an intense duel using a butter knife and an egg covered spatula Lauren had stolen from Eddie. Sue put one of her arms on me, carefully. “It was obvious you were going to be leaving today, Mouse. You’re horrible at keeping things from me. Or most of us, for that matter.” I blinked again.
“Me? What possible motive would I have to keep anything away from anyone?” I asked innocently. This created another round of laughter, and Pete took advantage of the moment to disarm Lauren and thrust the knife to her cheek. Her eyes grew wide with shock.
“Peter, that was very low. Taking advantage of my light hearted nature like that. Thou art a villain.” Pete thought about it for a moment and then shrugged. Being a villain didn’t appear to bother him very much, so he wiped the butter knife on her face, leaving a fantastic smear. She glared at him and proceeded to kick him in the shins. He bit his lip in pain, and prepared to leap at her. Then he realized she had gotten a hold of a frying pan some how, and thought better of it.
“Truce?” he offered. Lauren gave him a considering look and then announced her agreement. We all applauded the peace treaty as Pete sat down in a chair, rubbing his leg. We applauded even louder at Eddie’s announcement that breakfast was ready.
As we set about demolishing it all, I leaned back and enjoyed myself. It had been a long while since we had all been in one room together, and I realized how much I missed it. It was as if nothing had changed at all. Pete and Lauren had either settled any unease between them or they were just putting on a good show. Carol didn’t seem to be feeling any of that bizarre animosity towards Lauren either. But whether that was because how Lauren was interacting with Pete, she was hiding it for my benefit, or she genuinely had gotten over it I don’t know. Whichever it was, I was grateful. Eddie seemed in a good mood, which was typical Eddie. He also had that typical look of mischief in his eyes, and I hoped whatever he was thinking about wouldn’t get him in too much trouble. Joe was engrossed in the paper, reading the latest headlines as he always did. He liked to be aware of what was going on the world. Sue looked radiant. She was happier now than anytime since I had come back, and she was very much enjoying being a part of my close circle of friends. She had always been too young to really fit in, until now. Though she still had some sadness behind her eyes. Either because of all everything that had been going on or that I was leaving today I don’t know. Probably both. I still don’t know what I had done to give away my intention of leaving.
Sue nudged me with elbow. “So what time are you leaving?” She had gotten right to the point on this conversation. I still hadn’t said I was leaving (which I was doing), but they had all known it anyway.
I thought for a moment, and then replied “After breakfast, probably.” She nodded. “I have a lot of things I need to take care of back in the city.” She nodded again, rolling her eyes. I chuckled. “Guess I don’t need to explain. Anyway, I’ll be gone only a few days. I’ll be back soon, I promise.” I kissed her forehead, and she hugged me.
“You better, or you’ll be getting more of this.” She jabbed me in the ribs. I grunted, then proceeded to tickle her ever so lightly. “How dare you? I’m an invalid!” she said in between laughs. Another elbow, this one a lot harder, ceased my attack. I rubbed my side.
“You pack quite a punch for an invalid.” I shook my head at her laugh of triumph, and nodded over at Joe. “So, what’s been going on the last couple of weeks. I’ve been kind of out of the loop.”
Joe nodded to that. “I should say so. Well, let’s see. What holds interest to you? Hmmm…there’s an election in a few days, nope, that’s nothing. Ummm, nope, nothing local either. Ahh, here we are! This should appeal to you. Well, probably not, considering who you probably have been betting on. Because I know you did.”
“What are you talking about?” I inquired, cocking my head to side with a curious look.
“Bad joke, Mickey. Even with everything going on you had to be paying attention to this.” He glanced at me, seeing my expression of confusion. “Seriously, you don’t know what I’m talking about?” I shook my head. “World Series, man.”
A shudder went down my spine, as my body grew suddenly cold. God damn it! I had completely forgotten about that whole business with Karl. I was so screwed when I got home. “Son of a bitch. Oh, man. Shit.” My expletives stopped all conversation, and everyone looked at me in shock as I covered my face in my hands. Shit, shit, shit. God damn, shit, SHIT! Someone began rubbing my shoulders. I think it was Lauren. She can’t have approved of my betting, but she was standing by me anyway. And she had no idea how totally screwed I was.
“Damn dude, who did you bet on?” I shook my head in response to Eddie’s question. Even Eddie, who would bet on just about anything, would never, ever, have bet on the friggin Red Sox. Especially when they were down three games to none against New York! Jesus.
“Man, Mickey. Don’t blame yourself. Who in the hell could have predicted the results? It’s crazy, man. Don’t beat yourself up.” A part of me tried to process what Joe had just said, and it didn’t make sense to the part involved with self deprecating. But I couldn’t.
“How bad was it?” I managed to say in a very, very small voice.
“They swept the Twins. Still can’t believe that,” he replied.
So, the Yankees won. Big surprise there. How could I have been so damn stupid? That small part of me tried to process Joe’s comments again, but I still ignored it. I don’t care if Joe was surprised or thought everyone else should be. It was so God damn obvious. “God damn Yankees,” I muttered, shaking my head. I can’t believe I bet against the Yankees when they were playing Sox. God damn it!
“Yeah, man. That’s what I figured. But like I said, who the hell could have predicted this? Especially after Boston was three games down!” Joe’s comments finally came through. Wait, what? I moved one of my fingers aside and looked through the slit they made through my hands, letting in just a little bit of light.
“Wait, what?” I repeated from the inside of my head. That small part of me was trying to tell me I really wasn’t screwed after all, but I couldn’t afford to listen to that right now. But yet…
“I said who the hell could have predicted that after Boston was three games down. I thought they were done for sure. Man, I can’t believe they were able to overcome that. The Red Sox won the World Series. Who the hell ever thought I’d ever say that?”
I let go of a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. “I feel sorry for you Mickey,” Lauren’s voice whispered into my ear. “But maybe now you can stop doing this. It’s very destructive.” I laughed at that. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had been tricked into betting on the Red Sox, and I had won. Part of me wondered whether that was what was supposed to happen. At first I had thought the mysterious woman and her mysterious associates were going to try and show their influence and power to gain my trust and cooperation in whatever they needed me for. But then after it set in what exactly I had bet on, I had been under the impression that they were just trying to screw me over and get me so far in debt I was going to drown. Either way, I was ahead, and I was not planning on drowning.
I looked up from my hands with the biggest smile on my face. “Mickey, are you alright?” Pete and Carol both looked at me very oddly, as if I were about to go psycho and kill everyone. I can’t blame them for that though. Considering my look and thinking I had not bet for the Red Sox, what else would they think other than I had lost my mind?
“I am alright. I’m fine. I am more than fine. I am absolutely fantastic!!” I leapt out of my chair, knocking it over. “Guess who bet on the Red Sox, baby! I’m free and clear out of debt!” My announcement stunned my friends. Whatever they were expecting, it was not that. Certainly not.
“What in the HELL would possibly ever make you bet on the Red Sox? And when did you? It had to have been before you came here. You didn’t have time otherwise.” Eddie saying exactly what everyone else was thinking. Aside from the part that I must have lost my mind.
“Well, uh, you see. Uh, it’s kind of funny actually. I bet on them when they were down by three games to the Yankees,” I admitted sheepishly.
“You did WHAT?” Joe leapt out of his chair, knocking it over in disbelief. “Man Mickey, I know you’re good at reading people, but when did you turn psychic?” He looked at me with narrowed eyes. “What number am I thinking of?”
“Beats the hell out of me,” I replied. I then began to explain everything about the circumstances in which I had gotten myself. How I was in debt, about the mysterious woman, Karl, and that stupid idiotic bet that somehow had turned out okay. All of my friends expressed their opinions on how incredibly stupid I was, and that I should have come to them if I was in trouble. Sue was completely shocked. She knew her big brother had gotten into some trouble before, but this was ridiculous.
Pete shook his head in disbelief again. “Wow Mickey. Just, wow. How much were you in debt anyway?” I shook my head to that.
“I don’t know Pete. I just don’t know. Way too God damn much. Sorry Laur. But between Karl, back rent, credit card bills, another bookie or two, and the loan shark, it was a lot.” This prompted questions of “Loan shark, what loan shark?” but I ignored them. I didn’t want to have to tell anyone I had to borrow from someone who charged at interest rates in the several hundreds. “All that matters is that it’s over with, and I’m staying clean from here on out.”
“I don’t know why, but that reminds me. I got a phone call from someone named Lacie for you,” Joe said, but I don’t think anyone heard him, as he was instantly interrupted.
“At a boy, Mick!” Eddie cheered. “I give you, what, a month? Two at the most.” Carol hit him in the back of the head. “What? Come on!” Her glare silenced his protests though. Besides, she had other areas of the conversation she wanted to focus on. As did Lauren.
“Who’s Lacie?” they both said at the same time. Guess somebody did her Joe. The stopped and looked at each other, eyes full of surprise and suspicion.
I ignored them, since they were staring at each other for now. “What did she say?”
“Just that she’s sorry about your parents, and hopes your sister’s okay.” I nodded, and Joe glanced sideways at the two women. They were still staring at each other. Then, like mirror images, they shrugged and turned their demanding eyes towards me. “Well?” they repeated together.
“Just one of my information sources.” They kept staring at me, not saying another word. Pete looked at me skeptically. “She’s real useful.” Sue began to giggle and Eddie cracked a smile. “Really, she is!” I protested. Joe and Eddie joined Sue in her laughter, Pete shook his head, and Carol and Lauren looked at each other again, and then back at me.
“So what are you going to do about this mystery woman?” Joe inquired, coming to my rescue. You can always count on Joe changing the subject when you really needed it most.
“I don’t know. Wait for her to call back, I guess. What else can I do?”
“That’s not what I meant. What are you going to about her once she does call back.” I shrugged. I really had no idea. “She’s going to think you’re in her debt, for helping you out like that. I still don’t know how she did it. Maybe she’s the psychic.” I shrugged again.
“I don’t know what else I can do until I find out what exactly she wants. Obviously she’s got connections somewhere, if she can fix that. Or maybe she’s from the future! Yeah, that’s got to be it. Anyway, I am going to do everything I can to not piss her off. We’ll just have to wait and see what that is.” My last sentence carried a tone of finality. The conversation was over, and everyone else knew it. Next subject. But no one offered any, so I did it myself. “I have to get back to the city, now. But only for a few days. I have some things to take care of, and then I’ll be right back here.”
“Tell Lacie we said hi.” I looked at Carol, and she had a slight grin on her face.
“Well, next time I see her, whenever that is, I’ll be sure and do that.” I didn’t tell her that I would most likely be seeing her tonight. I went upstairs to gather my things. As I was throwing clothes in my bag, I heard a knock at my door.
I turned my head. Lauren was standing in the open doorway. “Hey there,” she said. I nodded at her, and went back to my packing. “I just wanted to say I appreciate that you haven’t been asking me anything about Peter.” I stopped, and stood up slowly, turning around.
“Well, I figured when you were ready to talk to me, you would do so. And obviously you weren’t ready, but after seeing you interact during breakfast…” I shrugged. “It’s none of my business anyway.” She came in close to me and gave me a hug.
“Thanks Mickey,” she whispered into my ear. “Thanks very much.” She pulled away, but stopped with her face nearly touching mine. “I don’t like this business with that woman. I’m worried…make sure you come back, okay?” I was about to tell her something along the lines of “Hey, don’t worry about me, baby,” or something equally smooth like that. But it came out as more of a “mmph” when she suddenly grabbed my face with her hands and kissed me. After a couple of seconds, she let go. My mouth dropped open. She bit her lower lip and smiled at me. From anyone else, I would have described the look she gave me as an attempt at seduction. But from Lauren? That was crazy! Absolute pure nonsense. I think it was more of an attempt to cover up her complete shock that she had just done what she had, in fact, just done. But then again… I touched my lips with a hand I noticed was shaking. Maybe Lauren wasn’t the only one who had changed in the last few years.
I stood for a few more moments, watching her walk down the stairs. This is crazy. Lauren’s gone crazy. The whole world’s gone crazy. Or maybe I’ve gone crazy. That would make more sense. I shook my head, and went back to packing.
After a couple more minutes, there was another knock on the door. I turned my head. This time, it was Carol standing in my doorway. “Hey there,” she said. Were she and Lauren merging into the same individual? They had been acting bizarrely similar recently. And I had a feeling this episode was about to be an example of déjà vu. “I just wanted to say that I respect you not wanting to talk about anything.” I stood and turned around slowly. “I had figured before you were ready to talk about everything to me. And obviously you weren’t ready. It’s none of my business anyway, but I just wanted to be there for you. She came in close and gave me a hug.
“Thanks Carol,” I whispered into her ear. “Thanks very much.”
She pulled away, but stopped with her face nearly touching mine. “I don’t like this business with that woman. I’m worried…make sure you come back, okay?” This was getting weird. I was about to respond in some way, I don’t know exactly what, but it ended up coming out as a “mmph” when she suddenly grabbed my face with her hands and kissed me. After a couple of seconds, she let go. My mouth dropped again. What in the hell was with these crazy women? I swear they were becoming the same person. Then Carol bit her lower lip and smiled at me, giving me the exact same look as Lauren had. This time there was no doubt what that look meant. I watched her go down the stairs.
This had been a crazy effing day.
Carol hadn’t said anything about the time we were alone since it happened. True to her word, she was going to wait until I was ready to talk. Which wasn’t going to be for quite some time. I was very confused about what I felt about Carol, and her marriage. I also could not help thinking of Lacie. I missed her, I realized. And when I did go back to the city, I knew that she, unlike that other broad from the bar, would really appreciate what I was going through and sympathize with me. And she would show just how she appreciated it, but not just in the way you’d expect. She’d hold me while I cried, take care of me, hell, probably even make me some soup. It was really strange. Our little business deal had changed since it first started, obviously, but this was something I had never quite expected. I was actually starting to truly care for her, as one might care for a, well, someone you loved. I wouldn’t say that I did love her, but it was certainly approaching that. After all my experiences with “love”, especially the last one, I had never expected to love again. Or feel anything even remotely close to love, for that matter. I rubbed my shoulder again in painful memory. Well, it seemed like I felt like being sentimental. I guess all these feelings were drawing out the memories.
The first woman I ever loved was Carol. She was my girlfriend in high school, and we had been through a lot. I still had generally fond memories of her and our time together. But it was not to be. I don’t know what started it, but gradually we drifted farther apart. We argued a lot. Eventually, I told her I needed some time away from home, that I was feeling trapped and stuck in this small little town. She didn’t understand, and we had a huge fight over that. So I left, never looking back. Despite all that, I was still young and naïve about love, and the world. Which I guess would explain Season.
Season was a girl I met in the city. She was the daughter of two hippie parents who lived somewhere in the mountains of Vermont. Which would explain her name. She was a peace loving, marijuana smoking, politically active young woman who believed could change the world. Some of that belief transferred to me (me, the cynical uncaring cold individual who hated politics! Well, this is one of the reasons I am that now.), and we set out to change the world. To win it over to peace and harmony. I don’t know how much of it I really believed and how much of it was just the newness and the difference of the experience. At any rate, we eloped (my parents loved that. Hers thought it was “groovy”.) and began getting active and involved. We protested war, pollution, destruction of the rain forests, everything. Then we met that damned politician. He was a hippie, just like Season (I’ve blocked his name from my memory, even now), and he was a key note speaker at some rally we went to. He was young, charismatic, good looking (I guess. I’m not really that good of a judge on what women find attractive in men Hell, look at me. I certainly wouldn’t find myself attractive if I was a chick), enthusiastic, inspiring leader who was going to Washington to change everything. Season started working for his campaign, and I tagged along. She was in total awe of the man. And he was winning, too. He was kicking the crap out of the incumbent conservative in the polls, and it looked like a sure thing. Then the story broke a month before the election that he was having an affair with one of his campaign workers. And, surprise, surprise, it turned out to be Season. His wife left him, and he was in disgrace. And I was disillusioned about everything. I turned right around and went back to the city. I don’t know what ever happened to Season. She probably ended up in some commune somewhere. Who the hell knows.
So, somewhat disillusioned and hurt and confused, I returned to the city and began working odd jobs. I met a waitress named Beth at some run down diner. We hit it off. We decided to get married. I don’t know why. Guess she was getting a little older for never having been married and wanted to do so before it was too late. So she settled for me. She was nice, but we weren’t really a good match. We argued a lot. Guess that was all I could do with the women I was with. We ended up pushing each other away, just like Carol and I had. Yet this time I turned to Carol for comfort instead of out right running away. We had an affair, several in fact. This started a long history of hooking up whenever I was in town. It worked for both of us. We both still had feelings for each other, but neither of us could make a commitment to the other. Well, at least I couldn’t. That affair saved my sanity when I came home, which I did a lot, but not when I was back in the city. To escape my arguing with Beth, I took up drinking. Which only led to more arguments. So I got a job as a private investigator, working for some company to find out other people’s dirty secrets. I was good at it. Both from my natural intuitive people reading skills, and from my willingness to work long hours to get the job done. Which didn’t go over too well with my wife. Well, eventually she had had enough, and we got a divorce. Yet another life I had ruined in my path.
This led to a very dark period in my life. I drank a lot, got involved with many things that I really shouldn’t have. Went to jail a few times. Got shot once, after one of my cases led me too close to the mob. Drank a lot, gambled a lot, took up with strange women a lot. It was not my finest hour. One of the many women I was with, Vanessa, got pregnant. We decided to get married, for the good of the child, or something like that. Stupid reason at any rate. I tried to play the role of the dutiful husband and expecting father. I even gave up drinking. Shocking, I know! I stopped working such long hours, and things were actually starting to go well again. I was losing so much of my cynicism and negativity, and actually, dare I say it, starting to get happy again. For the first time in a long, long time, I was thinking I might have a chance at happiness. I was stupid to think it would ever be possible. The baby was stillborn. And with it went everything that held our relationship together. Vanessa got really depressed, and so did I. Just when I should have been there for her most, I wasn’t. I did what I had done before. I turned to drinking, working, and to Carol. We had another affair, and I spent more time drinking and working then I did anything else. Vanessa and I barely talked to each other. And then in what would lead to one of the worst days of my life, I got another case. The second time I had that feeling. But, I ignored it and plowed on ahead. Sure enough, in some warehouse in the city, when I should have been having dinner with my wife, I got too close to something, and got shot for my troubles. And at what I figure to be at almost the exact time as I got shot, God showed me his sense of irony and Vanessa committed suicide. Like I said, one of the worst days of my life.
I spent a long time recovering in the hospital, but it wasn’t just from being shot. I had killed Vanessa. Oh, I didn’t kill her in any legal sense of the word, but I had driven her to kill herself. And that death weighed heavily upon me. I was more miserable at that moment than any other time in my life (up to that point at least. My life is filled with wonderful examples of misery, bitter, bitter, misery.). I had a bad habit of pushing away women that I loved, and who loved me. Somehow, I managed to maintain a hold on my depression. I thought about killing myself. Several times. Had it all set up once, too. I was going to do it. I had bought some rope and made a noose. Hung it from a beam in the ceiling. I was literally standing on my chair, with my neck in the rope, ready to kick the chair over, when my phone rang. I got down from the chair, and answered in what must have been a very confused voice. It was my little sister Sue, calling me to wish me a happy birthday. Was it my birthday? Already? I had lost track of the days. She said she knew I was sad, but that I should be happy, because she made me a cake. Told me I should come eat it, before she got too hungry and ate it all by herself. Little kids have such a way with words. I told her I’d leave immediately and be right there. And I left.
I never told Sue that she had saved my life. That cake she made, with a little bit of help from mom (she was only ten at the time), was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted. While I was there, both Carol and Lauren came to see me. Lauren gave me a big hug, and looked into my eyes. She obviously knew what was going on behind them, or what had been going on behind them before I talked to Sue. “Don’t you dare, Mickey. I don’t care what you’re feeling. Don’t you dare.” I didn’t answer her, only hugged her back more fiercely. Carol came by later, and showed me what there was to live for in her own special way. Being with her never got old. So the three women from my home town, the three women I spent a lot of time with this past week (and a cute little friend), saved my life that day. I never told any of them, and I don’t think any but Lauren knew, or at least had an inkling, but they saved my life. And I am eternally grateful for their compassion.
Which just about covers everything to date except for Lacie. Well, not everything. I can never for get the day the door to my office opened and in walked… No. Some things are still too painful to think about, even in this sentimental state. At any rate, Sue was going to be okay, and she was recovering nicely, both emotionally and physically. At the end of the week, I was able to take her home. She came home in a wheel chair, but she came home. She was still in bad shape, but Sue was resilient, and tough as anything. I would not be surprised if she were to be up and training for a marathon in the next couple of weeks. Emotionally, she was doing alright. She was still very upset, and we both cried a lot. It helped her when I took her to their graves. It was harder on me than it was on her, I think. I was troubled by more guilty feelings of staying away from home too much to be able to tell my parents how much they meant to me. How sorry I was that I had screwed up my life and not given them any grandchildren. Sue laid down some flowers on the graves, and said a prayer and her good byes. I suffered with guilt while she got peace of mind. It was entirely worth it.
After a few days, things were getting back to normal. I needed to check in on things back in the city. I walked downstairs, yawning, to the smell of breakfast. The hell? Sue had better not be cooking! I tucked my robe around me and stormed down the stairs. “Seuss, what in God’s name do you think you’re doing up?? And cooking! I don’t care how tough you think you are, this is…” My tirade trailed off as I reached the bottom of the stairs and turned into the kitchen. There was Sue, alright. But sitting in a chair, obediently not having anything to do with any cooking, trying to look meek and contain her laughter at the same time. And failing miserably on both accounts.
“Good morning, grumpy,” Carol said, coming over to me. She kissed me on the cheek, and took my arm. “Why don’t you have a seat? Breakfast will be ready real soon.” She guided me to a seat. I blinked.
“Really, Mickey. What’s with all the shouting? I know you’re surly in the morning, but this is a little inconsiderate.” Pete set down a cup of coffee and gave me a grin. “What if we’d all been sleeping?” He turned back to the counter and got back to more important matters than myself. He was buttering several pieces of toast.
Lauren laughed from behind the fridge door. She set some orange juice and milk on the table and pat my head. “You’d think he’d be grateful we were making breakfast.”
“Mickey, grateful? Ha!” Eddie cackled from the stove. He was finishing up some eggs and bacon.
“Yeah, Laur. Come on. You should know better than that,” Joe said as he put down the paper. “I mean, yeah, you’re more compassionate and naïve than the rest of us, but even you can’t give Mickey that kind of credit.” Pete laughed at that, and got a hand towel thrown over his head for his affront.
“Peter, you had best watch yourself or you’re likely to end up with a nasty surprise.” Lauren went back to the fridge.
I blinked again. “Uhh, morning guys. So, uh, any reason on why I’m getting the pleasure of your company and being unmercifully assaulted by you?”
“Other than the fact that you’re a heartless bastard?” Joe asked sweetly? Sue almost fell out of her chair laughing.
“Thanks for waiting until I was done swallowing. Could have been real messy.” She touched one of her ribs. “Ow. It hurts to laugh,” she announced with a smile.
“Sorry about that Sue.” Joe glanced at Lauren, who had raised her eyebrow and was hefting a potentially deadly ice cube in her right hand. “Excuse my foul tongue, my lady.” He gave an elaborate and ridiculous bow to Lauren. She inclined her head, satisfied that the ruffian would not be needing her deadly projectile. So she settled for putting it down the back of Pete’s shirt. He yelped rather loudly, and chased Lauren around the kitchen with the butter knife, her laughing all the way. “Anyway,” Joe continued, ducking his head to avoid the vicious butter knife, “we thought you could use a nice send off breakfast before you left today.”
Everyone nodded, except Lauren and Pete, who were engaged in an intense duel using a butter knife and an egg covered spatula Lauren had stolen from Eddie. Sue put one of her arms on me, carefully. “It was obvious you were going to be leaving today, Mouse. You’re horrible at keeping things from me. Or most of us, for that matter.” I blinked again.
“Me? What possible motive would I have to keep anything away from anyone?” I asked innocently. This created another round of laughter, and Pete took advantage of the moment to disarm Lauren and thrust the knife to her cheek. Her eyes grew wide with shock.
“Peter, that was very low. Taking advantage of my light hearted nature like that. Thou art a villain.” Pete thought about it for a moment and then shrugged. Being a villain didn’t appear to bother him very much, so he wiped the butter knife on her face, leaving a fantastic smear. She glared at him and proceeded to kick him in the shins. He bit his lip in pain, and prepared to leap at her. Then he realized she had gotten a hold of a frying pan some how, and thought better of it.
“Truce?” he offered. Lauren gave him a considering look and then announced her agreement. We all applauded the peace treaty as Pete sat down in a chair, rubbing his leg. We applauded even louder at Eddie’s announcement that breakfast was ready.
As we set about demolishing it all, I leaned back and enjoyed myself. It had been a long while since we had all been in one room together, and I realized how much I missed it. It was as if nothing had changed at all. Pete and Lauren had either settled any unease between them or they were just putting on a good show. Carol didn’t seem to be feeling any of that bizarre animosity towards Lauren either. But whether that was because how Lauren was interacting with Pete, she was hiding it for my benefit, or she genuinely had gotten over it I don’t know. Whichever it was, I was grateful. Eddie seemed in a good mood, which was typical Eddie. He also had that typical look of mischief in his eyes, and I hoped whatever he was thinking about wouldn’t get him in too much trouble. Joe was engrossed in the paper, reading the latest headlines as he always did. He liked to be aware of what was going on the world. Sue looked radiant. She was happier now than anytime since I had come back, and she was very much enjoying being a part of my close circle of friends. She had always been too young to really fit in, until now. Though she still had some sadness behind her eyes. Either because of all everything that had been going on or that I was leaving today I don’t know. Probably both. I still don’t know what I had done to give away my intention of leaving.
Sue nudged me with elbow. “So what time are you leaving?” She had gotten right to the point on this conversation. I still hadn’t said I was leaving (which I was doing), but they had all known it anyway.
I thought for a moment, and then replied “After breakfast, probably.” She nodded. “I have a lot of things I need to take care of back in the city.” She nodded again, rolling her eyes. I chuckled. “Guess I don’t need to explain. Anyway, I’ll be gone only a few days. I’ll be back soon, I promise.” I kissed her forehead, and she hugged me.
“You better, or you’ll be getting more of this.” She jabbed me in the ribs. I grunted, then proceeded to tickle her ever so lightly. “How dare you? I’m an invalid!” she said in between laughs. Another elbow, this one a lot harder, ceased my attack. I rubbed my side.
“You pack quite a punch for an invalid.” I shook my head at her laugh of triumph, and nodded over at Joe. “So, what’s been going on the last couple of weeks. I’ve been kind of out of the loop.”
Joe nodded to that. “I should say so. Well, let’s see. What holds interest to you? Hmmm…there’s an election in a few days, nope, that’s nothing. Ummm, nope, nothing local either. Ahh, here we are! This should appeal to you. Well, probably not, considering who you probably have been betting on. Because I know you did.”
“What are you talking about?” I inquired, cocking my head to side with a curious look.
“Bad joke, Mickey. Even with everything going on you had to be paying attention to this.” He glanced at me, seeing my expression of confusion. “Seriously, you don’t know what I’m talking about?” I shook my head. “World Series, man.”
A shudder went down my spine, as my body grew suddenly cold. God damn it! I had completely forgotten about that whole business with Karl. I was so screwed when I got home. “Son of a bitch. Oh, man. Shit.” My expletives stopped all conversation, and everyone looked at me in shock as I covered my face in my hands. Shit, shit, shit. God damn, shit, SHIT! Someone began rubbing my shoulders. I think it was Lauren. She can’t have approved of my betting, but she was standing by me anyway. And she had no idea how totally screwed I was.
“Damn dude, who did you bet on?” I shook my head in response to Eddie’s question. Even Eddie, who would bet on just about anything, would never, ever, have bet on the friggin Red Sox. Especially when they were down three games to none against New York! Jesus.
“Man, Mickey. Don’t blame yourself. Who in the hell could have predicted the results? It’s crazy, man. Don’t beat yourself up.” A part of me tried to process what Joe had just said, and it didn’t make sense to the part involved with self deprecating. But I couldn’t.
“How bad was it?” I managed to say in a very, very small voice.
“They swept the Twins. Still can’t believe that,” he replied.
So, the Yankees won. Big surprise there. How could I have been so damn stupid? That small part of me tried to process Joe’s comments again, but I still ignored it. I don’t care if Joe was surprised or thought everyone else should be. It was so God damn obvious. “God damn Yankees,” I muttered, shaking my head. I can’t believe I bet against the Yankees when they were playing Sox. God damn it!
“Yeah, man. That’s what I figured. But like I said, who the hell could have predicted this? Especially after Boston was three games down!” Joe’s comments finally came through. Wait, what? I moved one of my fingers aside and looked through the slit they made through my hands, letting in just a little bit of light.
“Wait, what?” I repeated from the inside of my head. That small part of me was trying to tell me I really wasn’t screwed after all, but I couldn’t afford to listen to that right now. But yet…
“I said who the hell could have predicted that after Boston was three games down. I thought they were done for sure. Man, I can’t believe they were able to overcome that. The Red Sox won the World Series. Who the hell ever thought I’d ever say that?”
I let go of a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. “I feel sorry for you Mickey,” Lauren’s voice whispered into my ear. “But maybe now you can stop doing this. It’s very destructive.” I laughed at that. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had been tricked into betting on the Red Sox, and I had won. Part of me wondered whether that was what was supposed to happen. At first I had thought the mysterious woman and her mysterious associates were going to try and show their influence and power to gain my trust and cooperation in whatever they needed me for. But then after it set in what exactly I had bet on, I had been under the impression that they were just trying to screw me over and get me so far in debt I was going to drown. Either way, I was ahead, and I was not planning on drowning.
I looked up from my hands with the biggest smile on my face. “Mickey, are you alright?” Pete and Carol both looked at me very oddly, as if I were about to go psycho and kill everyone. I can’t blame them for that though. Considering my look and thinking I had not bet for the Red Sox, what else would they think other than I had lost my mind?
“I am alright. I’m fine. I am more than fine. I am absolutely fantastic!!” I leapt out of my chair, knocking it over. “Guess who bet on the Red Sox, baby! I’m free and clear out of debt!” My announcement stunned my friends. Whatever they were expecting, it was not that. Certainly not.
“What in the HELL would possibly ever make you bet on the Red Sox? And when did you? It had to have been before you came here. You didn’t have time otherwise.” Eddie saying exactly what everyone else was thinking. Aside from the part that I must have lost my mind.
“Well, uh, you see. Uh, it’s kind of funny actually. I bet on them when they were down by three games to the Yankees,” I admitted sheepishly.
“You did WHAT?” Joe leapt out of his chair, knocking it over in disbelief. “Man Mickey, I know you’re good at reading people, but when did you turn psychic?” He looked at me with narrowed eyes. “What number am I thinking of?”
“Beats the hell out of me,” I replied. I then began to explain everything about the circumstances in which I had gotten myself. How I was in debt, about the mysterious woman, Karl, and that stupid idiotic bet that somehow had turned out okay. All of my friends expressed their opinions on how incredibly stupid I was, and that I should have come to them if I was in trouble. Sue was completely shocked. She knew her big brother had gotten into some trouble before, but this was ridiculous.
Pete shook his head in disbelief again. “Wow Mickey. Just, wow. How much were you in debt anyway?” I shook my head to that.
“I don’t know Pete. I just don’t know. Way too God damn much. Sorry Laur. But between Karl, back rent, credit card bills, another bookie or two, and the loan shark, it was a lot.” This prompted questions of “Loan shark, what loan shark?” but I ignored them. I didn’t want to have to tell anyone I had to borrow from someone who charged at interest rates in the several hundreds. “All that matters is that it’s over with, and I’m staying clean from here on out.”
“I don’t know why, but that reminds me. I got a phone call from someone named Lacie for you,” Joe said, but I don’t think anyone heard him, as he was instantly interrupted.
“At a boy, Mick!” Eddie cheered. “I give you, what, a month? Two at the most.” Carol hit him in the back of the head. “What? Come on!” Her glare silenced his protests though. Besides, she had other areas of the conversation she wanted to focus on. As did Lauren.
“Who’s Lacie?” they both said at the same time. Guess somebody did her Joe. The stopped and looked at each other, eyes full of surprise and suspicion.
I ignored them, since they were staring at each other for now. “What did she say?”
“Just that she’s sorry about your parents, and hopes your sister’s okay.” I nodded, and Joe glanced sideways at the two women. They were still staring at each other. Then, like mirror images, they shrugged and turned their demanding eyes towards me. “Well?” they repeated together.
“Just one of my information sources.” They kept staring at me, not saying another word. Pete looked at me skeptically. “She’s real useful.” Sue began to giggle and Eddie cracked a smile. “Really, she is!” I protested. Joe and Eddie joined Sue in her laughter, Pete shook his head, and Carol and Lauren looked at each other again, and then back at me.
“So what are you going to do about this mystery woman?” Joe inquired, coming to my rescue. You can always count on Joe changing the subject when you really needed it most.
“I don’t know. Wait for her to call back, I guess. What else can I do?”
“That’s not what I meant. What are you going to about her once she does call back.” I shrugged. I really had no idea. “She’s going to think you’re in her debt, for helping you out like that. I still don’t know how she did it. Maybe she’s the psychic.” I shrugged again.
“I don’t know what else I can do until I find out what exactly she wants. Obviously she’s got connections somewhere, if she can fix that. Or maybe she’s from the future! Yeah, that’s got to be it. Anyway, I am going to do everything I can to not piss her off. We’ll just have to wait and see what that is.” My last sentence carried a tone of finality. The conversation was over, and everyone else knew it. Next subject. But no one offered any, so I did it myself. “I have to get back to the city, now. But only for a few days. I have some things to take care of, and then I’ll be right back here.”
“Tell Lacie we said hi.” I looked at Carol, and she had a slight grin on her face.
“Well, next time I see her, whenever that is, I’ll be sure and do that.” I didn’t tell her that I would most likely be seeing her tonight. I went upstairs to gather my things. As I was throwing clothes in my bag, I heard a knock at my door.
I turned my head. Lauren was standing in the open doorway. “Hey there,” she said. I nodded at her, and went back to my packing. “I just wanted to say I appreciate that you haven’t been asking me anything about Peter.” I stopped, and stood up slowly, turning around.
“Well, I figured when you were ready to talk to me, you would do so. And obviously you weren’t ready, but after seeing you interact during breakfast…” I shrugged. “It’s none of my business anyway.” She came in close to me and gave me a hug.
“Thanks Mickey,” she whispered into my ear. “Thanks very much.” She pulled away, but stopped with her face nearly touching mine. “I don’t like this business with that woman. I’m worried…make sure you come back, okay?” I was about to tell her something along the lines of “Hey, don’t worry about me, baby,” or something equally smooth like that. But it came out as more of a “mmph” when she suddenly grabbed my face with her hands and kissed me. After a couple of seconds, she let go. My mouth dropped open. She bit her lower lip and smiled at me. From anyone else, I would have described the look she gave me as an attempt at seduction. But from Lauren? That was crazy! Absolute pure nonsense. I think it was more of an attempt to cover up her complete shock that she had just done what she had, in fact, just done. But then again… I touched my lips with a hand I noticed was shaking. Maybe Lauren wasn’t the only one who had changed in the last few years.
I stood for a few more moments, watching her walk down the stairs. This is crazy. Lauren’s gone crazy. The whole world’s gone crazy. Or maybe I’ve gone crazy. That would make more sense. I shook my head, and went back to packing.
After a couple more minutes, there was another knock on the door. I turned my head. This time, it was Carol standing in my doorway. “Hey there,” she said. Were she and Lauren merging into the same individual? They had been acting bizarrely similar recently. And I had a feeling this episode was about to be an example of déjà vu. “I just wanted to say that I respect you not wanting to talk about anything.” I stood and turned around slowly. “I had figured before you were ready to talk about everything to me. And obviously you weren’t ready. It’s none of my business anyway, but I just wanted to be there for you. She came in close and gave me a hug.
“Thanks Carol,” I whispered into her ear. “Thanks very much.”
She pulled away, but stopped with her face nearly touching mine. “I don’t like this business with that woman. I’m worried…make sure you come back, okay?” This was getting weird. I was about to respond in some way, I don’t know exactly what, but it ended up coming out as a “mmph” when she suddenly grabbed my face with her hands and kissed me. After a couple of seconds, she let go. My mouth dropped again. What in the hell was with these crazy women? I swear they were becoming the same person. Then Carol bit her lower lip and smiled at me, giving me the exact same look as Lauren had. This time there was no doubt what that look meant. I watched her go down the stairs.
This had been a crazy effing day.
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