NaNoWriMo Day 1

Detective Anderson held the coffee in one hand, savoring the warmth seeping from the paper cup into his fingers. The bite of the wind cut at the raw, abused flesh, trying its best to combat the hot liquid. For now, the coffee was winning. It did not matter that it was disgusting coffee, nor that it had no cream or sugar. It would not make a difference anyway. All coffee would taste the same when your tongue was barren of taste buds, if he bothered to drink it. Too many years of smoking had seen to that. Now all he could taste was food overloaded with salt. And the doctors said too much salt would just make his blood pressure go up. They said he should take it easy, find an outlet of some sort to manage his stress. Something healthy, like yoga. He hated yoga. It was not even proper exercise, just sitting there and breathing. Anytime he breathed, he just heard his hoarse wheeze. Air struggled to filter through his ruined lungs, and claw its way up his dry throat, out his tasteless mouth and his clogged nose. Besides, it was supposed to be quiet, which only made his breathing seem louder. And he was left with nothing but the thoughts going through his head, empty though they were. No deep, inner contemplations or revelations going through his thick skull, like he figured you were supposed to do. All he could think about was how the women in the class looked naked. Or at least how they looked naked thirty years ago. They were all overweight, middle aged moms trying to get their life back together now that junior had run off to college. Empty nest syndrome hit hard, and they needed something to keep their minds off of the boring, inane routine that their lives had been ruled by and now lacked. He figured they should just face the truth. Junior was not at college studying and pining away for mommy like they wanted him too. He was out drinking cheap beer at parties, looking for easy girls that were running wild now that they had left home, too. The kind of girls that one John Anderson fantasized about. So yoga was stupid, and he never went. Except when colleges were on break. Then his target age group was back in town, and going to yoga. Those days he liked. But there would be none of those days for several months, since there were no holidays from late January to May except Spring Break, and no one came here for spring break. They went somewhere warm, where they could wear almost nothing and did not need a hot cup of coffee to keep their fingers from turning blue.

His other hand brought the almost finished cigarette to his lips. His fingers brushed against the gravely stubble on his chin. He had not shaved in a day, or maybe two. They seemed to run together now. His lips wrapped around the end lovingly, pulling the smoke forth, letting it roll around his tongue and mouth for a moment, then breathed it in, letting it wind its way down his throat and through the blackened lungs, torturing them more. He brought it back up his throat, and out through his nostrils, breathing on to the back of his hand. Not that it did much good to warm it up, but every little bit helped. A beep on his watch told him it was the top of the hour, that he was late. It was not his fault that he was late. Not his fault he had to stand outside in the freezing wind, howling past his ears and blasting his hands. Used to be he could smoke inside. Hell, he could smoke at his desk, or anywhere else he damn well wanted to smoke. Now everyone was health conscious. Everyone liked yoga, and had mocha lattes with double shots of espresso, drinking their legalized speed, while he could not even enjoy the nicotine coursing through his system in peace. They also recycled, and ate pomegranates. John Anderson did none of those things. What he did instead was take one last drag, drop the smoke and crush it under his foot, dump the coffee in a bush that would grow flowers he did not know the name of, and crumple the paper cup in his hands. He threw that in the bush too, and went inside.

It was bound to be another useless day. Progress on cases that did not matter, no breaks on the only one that did, a greasy lunch accompanied by annoying comments about cholesterol, and a mountain of paperwork that never ended. He would vary his day somehow, so it would not be the routine too many people fall into. That was one of his rules. Never let any day be the same as any other day you ever had. It fought back boredom, kept his mind out of dark corners he did not want it to go to, gave him something to look forward to, and kept people guessing. That was another one of his rules. Always keep people guessing. Then no one could be prepared. Which was another one of his rules. He was no boy scout, but he did find their mantra useful. He snorted at the use of another word he had no business thinking. Useless vocabulary that made you sound like a moron when you used it wrong, or made you look too smart when you used it right. Either way was bad.

Detective John Anderson lived by his rules. None of them would help him today. There was no way he could be prepared for what was about to happen.

Oblivious to what fate was about to drop into his lap, he trudged up the stairs, moved his way through the maze of hallways, and walked into his office. His Sergeant was not where he was supposed to be. He usually sat on the edge of his desk, all of his detectives standing around him, telling him what they did yesterday, what they were doing today, and what their problems were, if any. The Sergeant had a hot shot genius programmer for a kid. Some computer search engine wonder kid who worked for Google. Vocabulary had somehow jumped from his son into the Sergeant’s leaky brain. Vocabulary like “scrum”, and “agile methods”, and other terms he did not understand. If Anderson were the kind of man to laugh at his superior, he would snort every time he heard the word scrum. How rugby had gotten intertwined with office management, and poorly so, was beyond him. Next week he might be calling it a huddle, or coven, or a constitutional congress. They were all gatherings of some sort, so what did it matter? As it was he kept his mouth shut and pictured the fat oaf in a rugby shirt. It did wonders for his morning.

But the Sergeant was not at his desk. Nor was anyone crowded around his desk. Everyone was gathered up in twos and threes, whispering to each other. The three female detectiv3es were in one corner, and there coven would fit. Who did they think they were, wearing too short shirts into a professional work environment like this? Bringing sex into the workplace, that was not a thing he would lie down and take. But the three of them alone in a dirty, cheap hotel room with him? That he would lie down and take. And take. Even as he played out this fantasy in hid mind, he picked out a few details that bothered him. It was not hard to do, since this was not exactly the first time that this particular subject had occupied some portion of his mind’s cognitive powers, and he knew exactly how every step unfolded. No, as this particular scenario continued, he noticed a pair turning their backs on him as they noticed him, a trio ceasing discussion as he walked by, a furtive glance here or there at him. Something was up. Something new, and different. He was used to all sorts of looks, especially at his office. But there was something else to these particular looks. Obviously, he was involved in something, and it probably was part of the reason the scrum was not taking place as usual. He did not know what it was, but it was only a matter of time before whatever it was jumped up and bit him in the ass. Better to find out what he could and get ahead of it. First place to start would be…

“Anderson. Lieutenant’s Office. Now.”

No time to cover his ass. He put on his best just waking up face, so he could stall for what might be a few precious seconds if he had to. His mind worked fast, faster than anyone ever gave him credit for, which was all well and good with him. Better to be underestimated by your enemies so you could surprise them. And make no mistake, there were no friends to be had here, or anywhere. That was one lesson he learned quickly. There are only two types of people in the world. Enemies you have no dealt with, and enemies you have. A significant portion of the latter category happened to share real estate together in the ground. There was only one way to fully neutralize an adversary. He paused for a quick stretch, then took another moment to move his neck from side to side. The ligaments cracked as they moved over the bones of his spine, causing more than one set of eyes to roll in annoyance. That was supposedly not good for you either. Hurt the neck, it did. All he knew is it made his neck feel better, and set some people on edge. On edge was good. A large number of people messed up when they were annoyed, betrayed some sort of emotion they meant to conceal, or made them focus on the wrong place. His Sergeant was not one of them, nor was the Lieutenant, but they had their buttons. He would push them, if he needed to.

He stepped into the Lieutenant’s office at his Sergeant’s invitation. The door shut, sealing him off from the rest of his office. It was just him, the Lieutenant, and the Sergeant. And someone he did not know and had never seen before.

NaNoWriMo Attempt 3 Kick Off

So, we shall revisit the attempt at NaNoWriMo. This will be the host for my third attempt. We'll see how it goes. Not sure if I will use microsoft word, or text, or what. But we'll post all entries here. So, with absolutely no preparation, off we go!!

NANOWRIMO Day 22: 2735 Words (25488 total)

I opened the door to my office, feeling extremely tired, confused, and happy. All at the same time. I spent the hour long drive to reach the city going over what had happened this morning. It had only confused me more than I was before the drive, which is saying something. The only conclusion that made any sense is that Lauren has gone completely out of her mind. And Carol is just being, well, Carol. I shook my head. “Women.”

I hung up my hat and coat, as usual, and sat down in my chair to look at my answering machine. I had high expectations. And there were some messages. Excellent. I couldn’t wait to hear from Karl. I am sure he did not share my enthusiasm. Nor, I imagined, did all the other people I owed money. At least, they wouldn’t be when they found out I could suddenly pay back everything I owed and then some. What a glorious morning! Thunder boomed outside, as if to punctuate my point. Well, it wasn’t a glorious morning outside. It was downright shitty, as usual. The weather was doing its best to combat my new found cheery mood. And oh, how it was losing!

I listened to my messages. Margie called, just wanted to thank me again for the good work I did, as well as to let me know she received the pictures. She spoke in a very monotone, dead sort of way. I felt about her, what she was going through. But she did come to me, and I always deliver. She’s a tough one though. She’ll be okay. She also told me she had dropped off her payment. Sure enough, I was holding a plain manila envelope which felt like it contained my payment that I had picked up before I arrived here.

The next message was a completely empty one. Perhaps a courtesy call? I don’t usually get those in the office. There was a call from a woman who told me she wanted to see me as soon as possible, and that I should meet her. She didn’t identify herself, leave a number, tell me where to meet her or even when. She didn’t have to. She never did. Lacie’s phone voice was completely different from her normal voice, or her “business” voice. It was very non descript, and she spoke in short sentences that went straight to the point. In fact, it wasn’t distinct in any single way, and you could very easily forget you had ever heard it. Which was perfect, for this. There had been a couple times before when my phone was bugged, or someone had listened to my messages, or pretended to be me answering the phone, even. The precautions she took after that first time were all part of the discreet system we had set up. No one would know who she was, or where we would be meeting, except me. Certain words had meanings for certain times and places. I would be meeting her at 6:37, on the subway car in between two stations. She would get off at the next stop, and I would get off at the stop after that at the last second, so no one would be able to follow me. Then we’d meet in the middle and proceed from there. It was all very elaborate, but we weren’t taking any chances. Not after someone had followed me with lethal intent and decided to off her as a witness. Fortunately, the guy was really bad at his job and he hadn’t succeeded.

Shaking paranoid thoughts and conspiracy theories out of my head, I continued listening to the messages. As I expected, and to my tremendous satisfaction, there was a call from Karl. His voice sounded surprisingly calm, but it was the kind of calm you have when something really hasn’t quite sunk in yet. He wanted me to call him at my earliest convenience. He sighed before he hung up the phone. Man oh man, was I going to enjoy this. The last call was from the mysterious woman, and was only about ten minutes old. That raised my eyebrows a little. She said she called to offer her condolences, and that she would be calling me tomorrow around noon, seeing as how I would undoubtedly be busy this evening. That raised my eyebrows a lot more. Did she somehow know about my plans with Lacie? Or was she just assuming that I would be occupied this evening, as it was my first one back? I didn’t like the way things were going here. Not at all.

I sat thinking for a little bit longer, and then went to make myself a drink. I poured my bourbon, and began nursing it in my chair. What should I do about this still as yet unnamed woman? I had virtually no information about her, or her associates, or whatever organization she was involved in. Karl knew something, though. I could try and wrangle a bit of information about her from him, but I didn’t feel too confident about my chances. He wouldn’t be in a good mood after he had to hand over however much he owed me. Also, he didn’t exactly seem comfortable talking about her last time we spoke. Actually, the more I think about it, the more it seemed like he was actually frightened of her. I swirled my drink in its glass, staring at the revolving ice cubes. I really did not like this. Karl was never scared of anything or anybody. Hell, he had no problem “collecting” from convicted murderers (he had a nice rap going with the guards in the prison a few miles away. They helped him get access to the prisoners to place the bets and he gave them a substantial cut.), and they always paid up. Karl could be very intimidating. And the fact that he seemed intimidated did not bode well. I really did not like what it seemed I had gotten myself into. Not at all.

There was just too much to think about. Between my parents, the woman, Lauren (Lauren! I still can’t believe she kissed me!), Carol, Pete, my sister, and Karl, I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I downed the rest of my drink and picked up the phone. First things first. I needed to call Karl before he decided I had waited too long to collect and it was forfeit. He was notoriously impatient when he got in a bad mood, and he was always in a bad mood whenever anyone came to collect from him. He preferred doing the collecting. Most bookies do. I had had far too much experience with them in my life. I really intended to stop placing bets on everything, now that I was back on my feet. Really.

My call with Karl was very short. He was in a much fouler mood now than he had been on my message. I guess it had finally sunk in. Glad I was only speaking to him over the phone, rather than in person. He might decide he didn’t like my face (especially since I was having trouble from keeping a triumphant and gloating expression from it) and that it would need some “touching up” with a wall or two. I had had too much experience with those in my life, too. He told me when I could collect the money, and that was that. I didn’t try and get anything out of him about the woman. Probably a good thing. While I knew intellectually that it was physically impossible from someone to reach through a phone and strangle you, I wasn’t quite ready to test Karl’s ability to defy reality.

Having done that, there really wasn’t anything else to do. I couldn’t pick up the money until six tonight, and I wasn’t meeting Lacie until after that. Since I couldn’t exactly pay the rest of my debts without having something to pay them with, I couldn’t take car of any of that. So all I could really do was hang around and get some drinking done. I glanced at my empty glass of bourbon, and then at a desk of my drawer whose contents I did not often use. I could just sit and do nothing. I thought about the woman’s phone call. Doing nothing was really the more sensible approach. I thought about what it might have been implying. I could do nothing. I opened the drawer. Or I could be a little more…proactive.




“Hey, Mickey!” Aha! There he is. “I haven’t seen you in a couple weeks. Where you been?” I smiled at the big man who was waving at me and smiling in a way that showed all of his teeth, and the lack of some, too.

“Hey Lou.” I handed him a five. “I’ve been away, visiting family.” A twinge of pain and loss threatened to swell up, but I put it down. It must have showed though.

“Everything okay Mickey?” Lou was a big jolly fat man manning a hot dog stand. I was what I guess you could call a hot dog aficionado. Lou sold the best hot dogs in the city, and had the best relish anywhere. And not too expensive, either. For the city.

“Yeah, I’m doing alright. Lot of things going on in my mind, you know?” Lou nodded silently at this piece of wisdom I had just offered and continued fixing what he knew my order was (two dogs with mayo and overflowing relish and a soda). I came to see Lou almost every day for lunch. Well, I tried to find Lou. The thing about his hot dog stand was that it was never in the same place. It had a handle on one side and wheels on the bottom, so he could push it where ever he needed to go. And he went all over the city, a different spot every day, frequently several spots in a day. There was a section in the paper titled “Where’s Lou?” that tracked Lou’s movements, saying where he had been the previous week, last month, even last year on this day. There was an article in the paper last year about some math professor who was a fan of Lou’s hotdogs (mustard, relish, and plenty of diced onions) that every year had his students track Lou’s movements and try and find a pattern to them. They got bonus points if they were able to predict where he would be during exam week. Hardly any of them came up with anything, since his movements were completely random. Everybody loved Lou for his jovial manner and his wonderful hot dogs. That’s not why I loved him, though. Well, I should say that’s not the only reasons I love Lou. Lou also heard everything, since everyone came to buy his hot dogs. And who would ever suspect the fat smiling hot dog guy was paying any attention or would know exactly what you were talking about and who you were? He was one of the best sources of information out there, and I used it as much as I could. I compensated Lou once every couple of weeks, in addition to my near daily purchases. It was a good arrangement. It never even occurred to me that he might be passing information about me to someone else.

“Here you are, Mister Mickey.” Lou handed me my hotdogs, and set my drink on the cart. I’d take it after I ate my first hotdog. And we started our chat.

“So what’s new Lou?” Damn, these were just what I needed. You could always count on Lou’s food to cheer you up. It didn’t hurt that his smile rubbed off on you, too.

“Well, let’s see. Nothing on the political side of things. Maybe a hint of scandal here and there, but that’s not new. Cops are looking for someone who keeps knocking off some banks, but that’s been all over the papers, so not really anything on that front either. Hmmm. Oh yeah, you remember that big fire a little while back?” He let me consider that while he served another customer (relish, relish, and more relish. Everyone loves the relish. And rightfully so.).

I thought for a few moments, chewing on my own delicious relish. Fire, fire….big fire. My mind settled on the event. “Yeah, several months back. By the, the docks right?” Lou nodded, and gave me slightly sad smile at my hesitation. He knew why it was there. Lou knew everything. “What about it?”

“Well, there’s been some talk down from Eastford.” Eastford was a street that was notorious for being the hang out of several suspected members of the mob. But only suspected, mind you. Nothing was confirmed, and they were only rumors, of course. And I suspected the sky was grey. It certainly wasn’t blue, not in this smog ridden shit weather city. “Seems that whoever was the man behind the scenes died in the fire.” This raised my eyebrows. The cops had had a hell of a time trying to crack the mob here. It didn’t help that there was no clear indication of any leaders. This group had more effective security and secrecy than most countries. It also didn’t help that half the cops were corrupt, either. “It also seems the fire was not an accident.” This raised my eyebrows even more. “Seems they’re also out for blood.” I stopped eating at that. However reckless I was, I did not want to be in the way of anybody from any part of organized crime, least of all this part, going after somebody who killed the main man. Especially since he had done such a good job of it. “Seems that whoever did it also managed to extract some important numbers from the now deceased. Bank account numbers.” My eyes widened.

“Someone wacked the shadow behind it all and robbed them all blind?” Lou nodded. I whistled. “Ouch. Hate to be the guy who did that.” He was as good as dead. “Though, to pull that off he must be good. Maybe he has a chance at living.”

Lou laughed. “Even you wouldn’t bet on that, my friend.” I chuckled. He knew me all too well. “Anyway, you be careful, alright?” He gave me a pointed look.

“Me? I’ve got nothing to do with this. I have more than enough experience to stay away from this sort of thing anyway. How could they possibly have a reason to come after me?” That thought did not comfort me.

“Beats me. Maybe they listen to the word on the streets.” He looked at me, and I nodded for him to continue. “You have certainly garnered a reputation at being able to find anything or anybody or get proof of anything. And a certain habit of being reckless enough to do things others might find crazy.” He glanced at a pedestrian walking by. The guy was wearing a Boston hat. Did this mean what I think it meant? “You just be careful of any strange people you meet. Or talk to on the phone. Any strange women.” He looked at me again. His expression said it all.

“Thanks Lou. I will be extremely careful. In fact, I was already starting to arrange some safety precautions…just in case.” He smiled, and glanced down at my jacket pocket, as if he knew what was resting in it. Which he no doubt did. Like I said, Lou knew everything.

“Glad to hear it. Oh, look at the time! I’ve got to get rolling now, Mickey. You take care okay?”

“You too Lou.” I waved at him with my free hand and then grabbed my soda before he left. “And thanks.”

He nodded again, and began pushing his cart away. After a foot or two, he stopped and turned towards me. “Sorry about your parents, Mickey. They raised a hell of a kid. Glad to here your sister’s okay, too.” He smiled at my look of amazement, and turned around. He began whistling some song I could almost place, but not quite. I shook my head. I don’t know why I was surprised Lou knew about my parents, and about Sue. Even though I never mentioned I even had a sister to him. After all, Lou did know everything.

NANOWRIMO Day 18: 5823 Words (22753 total)

Another week passed. A very long week. Sue wasn’t withdrawing inward, as I had been. She reached out to those closest to her. Me, Carol, some friend of hers from high school who I didn’t know (she was cute, though. Hot little number. If she was anyone other than my sister’s friend, I would have jumped on that opportunity. As it was, I met back up with that woman from the bar last week. I had been right about what Pete was saying to her as I left. I was able to work the sympathy angle pretty well. And she showed me just how much sympathy she had for me. It was a good time. But I was distracted, so it wasn’t as much fun as it could have been. Oddly enough, I spent more time thinking about Carol, and oddly enough, Lacie, than anything else that had happened in the last couple weeks.), and Lauren as well. Which was another thing that was odd. I hadn’t realized they were so close. Man, things had changed a lot since I was last here. Carol and Lauren didn’t show any of the enmity I was expecting. Well, Lauren didn’t, at least. Carol didn’t really show any either, but she did have a way of looking rather oddly at Lauren. I couldn’t quite place what it was, I guess because I was still dealing with a lot and my inner sense was jumbled. Whenever Carol glanced at me and found I had caught her looking at Lauren in that peculiar sort of way, she would turn around and start talking to somebody else. It was all very confusing. As was everything with Carol, at the moment.

Carol hadn’t said anything about the time we were alone since it happened. True to her word, she was going to wait until I was ready to talk. Which wasn’t going to be for quite some time. I was very confused about what I felt about Carol, and her marriage. I also could not help thinking of Lacie. I missed her, I realized. And when I did go back to the city, I knew that she, unlike that other broad from the bar, would really appreciate what I was going through and sympathize with me. And she would show just how she appreciated it, but not just in the way you’d expect. She’d hold me while I cried, take care of me, hell, probably even make me some soup. It was really strange. Our little business deal had changed since it first started, obviously, but this was something I had never quite expected. I was actually starting to truly care for her, as one might care for a, well, someone you loved. I wouldn’t say that I did love her, but it was certainly approaching that. After all my experiences with “love”, especially the last one, I had never expected to love again. Or feel anything even remotely close to love, for that matter. I rubbed my shoulder again in painful memory. Well, it seemed like I felt like being sentimental. I guess all these feelings were drawing out the memories.

The first woman I ever loved was Carol. She was my girlfriend in high school, and we had been through a lot. I still had generally fond memories of her and our time together. But it was not to be. I don’t know what started it, but gradually we drifted farther apart. We argued a lot. Eventually, I told her I needed some time away from home, that I was feeling trapped and stuck in this small little town. She didn’t understand, and we had a huge fight over that. So I left, never looking back. Despite all that, I was still young and naïve about love, and the world. Which I guess would explain Season.

Season was a girl I met in the city. She was the daughter of two hippie parents who lived somewhere in the mountains of Vermont. Which would explain her name. She was a peace loving, marijuana smoking, politically active young woman who believed could change the world. Some of that belief transferred to me (me, the cynical uncaring cold individual who hated politics! Well, this is one of the reasons I am that now.), and we set out to change the world. To win it over to peace and harmony. I don’t know how much of it I really believed and how much of it was just the newness and the difference of the experience. At any rate, we eloped (my parents loved that. Hers thought it was “groovy”.) and began getting active and involved. We protested war, pollution, destruction of the rain forests, everything. Then we met that damned politician. He was a hippie, just like Season (I’ve blocked his name from my memory, even now), and he was a key note speaker at some rally we went to. He was young, charismatic, good looking (I guess. I’m not really that good of a judge on what women find attractive in men Hell, look at me. I certainly wouldn’t find myself attractive if I was a chick), enthusiastic, inspiring leader who was going to Washington to change everything. Season started working for his campaign, and I tagged along. She was in total awe of the man. And he was winning, too. He was kicking the crap out of the incumbent conservative in the polls, and it looked like a sure thing. Then the story broke a month before the election that he was having an affair with one of his campaign workers. And, surprise, surprise, it turned out to be Season. His wife left him, and he was in disgrace. And I was disillusioned about everything. I turned right around and went back to the city. I don’t know what ever happened to Season. She probably ended up in some commune somewhere. Who the hell knows.

So, somewhat disillusioned and hurt and confused, I returned to the city and began working odd jobs. I met a waitress named Beth at some run down diner. We hit it off. We decided to get married. I don’t know why. Guess she was getting a little older for never having been married and wanted to do so before it was too late. So she settled for me. She was nice, but we weren’t really a good match. We argued a lot. Guess that was all I could do with the women I was with. We ended up pushing each other away, just like Carol and I had. Yet this time I turned to Carol for comfort instead of out right running away. We had an affair, several in fact. This started a long history of hooking up whenever I was in town. It worked for both of us. We both still had feelings for each other, but neither of us could make a commitment to the other. Well, at least I couldn’t. That affair saved my sanity when I came home, which I did a lot, but not when I was back in the city. To escape my arguing with Beth, I took up drinking. Which only led to more arguments. So I got a job as a private investigator, working for some company to find out other people’s dirty secrets. I was good at it. Both from my natural intuitive people reading skills, and from my willingness to work long hours to get the job done. Which didn’t go over too well with my wife. Well, eventually she had had enough, and we got a divorce. Yet another life I had ruined in my path.

This led to a very dark period in my life. I drank a lot, got involved with many things that I really shouldn’t have. Went to jail a few times. Got shot once, after one of my cases led me too close to the mob. Drank a lot, gambled a lot, took up with strange women a lot. It was not my finest hour. One of the many women I was with, Vanessa, got pregnant. We decided to get married, for the good of the child, or something like that. Stupid reason at any rate. I tried to play the role of the dutiful husband and expecting father. I even gave up drinking. Shocking, I know! I stopped working such long hours, and things were actually starting to go well again. I was losing so much of my cynicism and negativity, and actually, dare I say it, starting to get happy again. For the first time in a long, long time, I was thinking I might have a chance at happiness. I was stupid to think it would ever be possible. The baby was stillborn. And with it went everything that held our relationship together. Vanessa got really depressed, and so did I. Just when I should have been there for her most, I wasn’t. I did what I had done before. I turned to drinking, working, and to Carol. We had another affair, and I spent more time drinking and working then I did anything else. Vanessa and I barely talked to each other. And then in what would lead to one of the worst days of my life, I got another case. The second time I had that feeling. But, I ignored it and plowed on ahead. Sure enough, in some warehouse in the city, when I should have been having dinner with my wife, I got too close to something, and got shot for my troubles. And at what I figure to be at almost the exact time as I got shot, God showed me his sense of irony and Vanessa committed suicide. Like I said, one of the worst days of my life.

I spent a long time recovering in the hospital, but it wasn’t just from being shot. I had killed Vanessa. Oh, I didn’t kill her in any legal sense of the word, but I had driven her to kill herself. And that death weighed heavily upon me. I was more miserable at that moment than any other time in my life (up to that point at least. My life is filled with wonderful examples of misery, bitter, bitter, misery.). I had a bad habit of pushing away women that I loved, and who loved me. Somehow, I managed to maintain a hold on my depression. I thought about killing myself. Several times. Had it all set up once, too. I was going to do it. I had bought some rope and made a noose. Hung it from a beam in the ceiling. I was literally standing on my chair, with my neck in the rope, ready to kick the chair over, when my phone rang. I got down from the chair, and answered in what must have been a very confused voice. It was my little sister Sue, calling me to wish me a happy birthday. Was it my birthday? Already? I had lost track of the days. She said she knew I was sad, but that I should be happy, because she made me a cake. Told me I should come eat it, before she got too hungry and ate it all by herself. Little kids have such a way with words. I told her I’d leave immediately and be right there. And I left.

I never told Sue that she had saved my life. That cake she made, with a little bit of help from mom (she was only ten at the time), was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted. While I was there, both Carol and Lauren came to see me. Lauren gave me a big hug, and looked into my eyes. She obviously knew what was going on behind them, or what had been going on behind them before I talked to Sue. “Don’t you dare, Mickey. I don’t care what you’re feeling. Don’t you dare.” I didn’t answer her, only hugged her back more fiercely. Carol came by later, and showed me what there was to live for in her own special way. Being with her never got old. So the three women from my home town, the three women I spent a lot of time with this past week (and a cute little friend), saved my life that day. I never told any of them, and I don’t think any but Lauren knew, or at least had an inkling, but they saved my life. And I am eternally grateful for their compassion.

Which just about covers everything to date except for Lacie. Well, not everything. I can never for get the day the door to my office opened and in walked… No. Some things are still too painful to think about, even in this sentimental state. At any rate, Sue was going to be okay, and she was recovering nicely, both emotionally and physically. At the end of the week, I was able to take her home. She came home in a wheel chair, but she came home. She was still in bad shape, but Sue was resilient, and tough as anything. I would not be surprised if she were to be up and training for a marathon in the next couple of weeks. Emotionally, she was doing alright. She was still very upset, and we both cried a lot. It helped her when I took her to their graves. It was harder on me than it was on her, I think. I was troubled by more guilty feelings of staying away from home too much to be able to tell my parents how much they meant to me. How sorry I was that I had screwed up my life and not given them any grandchildren. Sue laid down some flowers on the graves, and said a prayer and her good byes. I suffered with guilt while she got peace of mind. It was entirely worth it.




After a few days, things were getting back to normal. I needed to check in on things back in the city. I walked downstairs, yawning, to the smell of breakfast. The hell? Sue had better not be cooking! I tucked my robe around me and stormed down the stairs. “Seuss, what in God’s name do you think you’re doing up?? And cooking! I don’t care how tough you think you are, this is…” My tirade trailed off as I reached the bottom of the stairs and turned into the kitchen. There was Sue, alright. But sitting in a chair, obediently not having anything to do with any cooking, trying to look meek and contain her laughter at the same time. And failing miserably on both accounts.

“Good morning, grumpy,” Carol said, coming over to me. She kissed me on the cheek, and took my arm. “Why don’t you have a seat? Breakfast will be ready real soon.” She guided me to a seat. I blinked.

“Really, Mickey. What’s with all the shouting? I know you’re surly in the morning, but this is a little inconsiderate.” Pete set down a cup of coffee and gave me a grin. “What if we’d all been sleeping?” He turned back to the counter and got back to more important matters than myself. He was buttering several pieces of toast.

Lauren laughed from behind the fridge door. She set some orange juice and milk on the table and pat my head. “You’d think he’d be grateful we were making breakfast.”

“Mickey, grateful? Ha!” Eddie cackled from the stove. He was finishing up some eggs and bacon.

“Yeah, Laur. Come on. You should know better than that,” Joe said as he put down the paper. “I mean, yeah, you’re more compassionate and naïve than the rest of us, but even you can’t give Mickey that kind of credit.” Pete laughed at that, and got a hand towel thrown over his head for his affront.

“Peter, you had best watch yourself or you’re likely to end up with a nasty surprise.” Lauren went back to the fridge.

I blinked again. “Uhh, morning guys. So, uh, any reason on why I’m getting the pleasure of your company and being unmercifully assaulted by you?”

“Other than the fact that you’re a heartless bastard?” Joe asked sweetly? Sue almost fell out of her chair laughing.

“Thanks for waiting until I was done swallowing. Could have been real messy.” She touched one of her ribs. “Ow. It hurts to laugh,” she announced with a smile.

“Sorry about that Sue.” Joe glanced at Lauren, who had raised her eyebrow and was hefting a potentially deadly ice cube in her right hand. “Excuse my foul tongue, my lady.” He gave an elaborate and ridiculous bow to Lauren. She inclined her head, satisfied that the ruffian would not be needing her deadly projectile. So she settled for putting it down the back of Pete’s shirt. He yelped rather loudly, and chased Lauren around the kitchen with the butter knife, her laughing all the way. “Anyway,” Joe continued, ducking his head to avoid the vicious butter knife, “we thought you could use a nice send off breakfast before you left today.”

Everyone nodded, except Lauren and Pete, who were engaged in an intense duel using a butter knife and an egg covered spatula Lauren had stolen from Eddie. Sue put one of her arms on me, carefully. “It was obvious you were going to be leaving today, Mouse. You’re horrible at keeping things from me. Or most of us, for that matter.” I blinked again.

“Me? What possible motive would I have to keep anything away from anyone?” I asked innocently. This created another round of laughter, and Pete took advantage of the moment to disarm Lauren and thrust the knife to her cheek. Her eyes grew wide with shock.

“Peter, that was very low. Taking advantage of my light hearted nature like that. Thou art a villain.” Pete thought about it for a moment and then shrugged. Being a villain didn’t appear to bother him very much, so he wiped the butter knife on her face, leaving a fantastic smear. She glared at him and proceeded to kick him in the shins. He bit his lip in pain, and prepared to leap at her. Then he realized she had gotten a hold of a frying pan some how, and thought better of it.

“Truce?” he offered. Lauren gave him a considering look and then announced her agreement. We all applauded the peace treaty as Pete sat down in a chair, rubbing his leg. We applauded even louder at Eddie’s announcement that breakfast was ready.

As we set about demolishing it all, I leaned back and enjoyed myself. It had been a long while since we had all been in one room together, and I realized how much I missed it. It was as if nothing had changed at all. Pete and Lauren had either settled any unease between them or they were just putting on a good show. Carol didn’t seem to be feeling any of that bizarre animosity towards Lauren either. But whether that was because how Lauren was interacting with Pete, she was hiding it for my benefit, or she genuinely had gotten over it I don’t know. Whichever it was, I was grateful. Eddie seemed in a good mood, which was typical Eddie. He also had that typical look of mischief in his eyes, and I hoped whatever he was thinking about wouldn’t get him in too much trouble. Joe was engrossed in the paper, reading the latest headlines as he always did. He liked to be aware of what was going on the world. Sue looked radiant. She was happier now than anytime since I had come back, and she was very much enjoying being a part of my close circle of friends. She had always been too young to really fit in, until now. Though she still had some sadness behind her eyes. Either because of all everything that had been going on or that I was leaving today I don’t know. Probably both. I still don’t know what I had done to give away my intention of leaving.

Sue nudged me with elbow. “So what time are you leaving?” She had gotten right to the point on this conversation. I still hadn’t said I was leaving (which I was doing), but they had all known it anyway.

I thought for a moment, and then replied “After breakfast, probably.” She nodded. “I have a lot of things I need to take care of back in the city.” She nodded again, rolling her eyes. I chuckled. “Guess I don’t need to explain. Anyway, I’ll be gone only a few days. I’ll be back soon, I promise.” I kissed her forehead, and she hugged me.

“You better, or you’ll be getting more of this.” She jabbed me in the ribs. I grunted, then proceeded to tickle her ever so lightly. “How dare you? I’m an invalid!” she said in between laughs. Another elbow, this one a lot harder, ceased my attack. I rubbed my side.

“You pack quite a punch for an invalid.” I shook my head at her laugh of triumph, and nodded over at Joe. “So, what’s been going on the last couple of weeks. I’ve been kind of out of the loop.”

Joe nodded to that. “I should say so. Well, let’s see. What holds interest to you? Hmmm…there’s an election in a few days, nope, that’s nothing. Ummm, nope, nothing local either. Ahh, here we are! This should appeal to you. Well, probably not, considering who you probably have been betting on. Because I know you did.”

“What are you talking about?” I inquired, cocking my head to side with a curious look.

“Bad joke, Mickey. Even with everything going on you had to be paying attention to this.” He glanced at me, seeing my expression of confusion. “Seriously, you don’t know what I’m talking about?” I shook my head. “World Series, man.”

A shudder went down my spine, as my body grew suddenly cold. God damn it! I had completely forgotten about that whole business with Karl. I was so screwed when I got home. “Son of a bitch. Oh, man. Shit.” My expletives stopped all conversation, and everyone looked at me in shock as I covered my face in my hands. Shit, shit, shit. God damn, shit, SHIT! Someone began rubbing my shoulders. I think it was Lauren. She can’t have approved of my betting, but she was standing by me anyway. And she had no idea how totally screwed I was.

“Damn dude, who did you bet on?” I shook my head in response to Eddie’s question. Even Eddie, who would bet on just about anything, would never, ever, have bet on the friggin Red Sox. Especially when they were down three games to none against New York! Jesus.

“Man, Mickey. Don’t blame yourself. Who in the hell could have predicted the results? It’s crazy, man. Don’t beat yourself up.” A part of me tried to process what Joe had just said, and it didn’t make sense to the part involved with self deprecating. But I couldn’t.

“How bad was it?” I managed to say in a very, very small voice.

“They swept the Twins. Still can’t believe that,” he replied.

So, the Yankees won. Big surprise there. How could I have been so damn stupid? That small part of me tried to process Joe’s comments again, but I still ignored it. I don’t care if Joe was surprised or thought everyone else should be. It was so God damn obvious. “God damn Yankees,” I muttered, shaking my head. I can’t believe I bet against the Yankees when they were playing Sox. God damn it!

“Yeah, man. That’s what I figured. But like I said, who the hell could have predicted this? Especially after Boston was three games down!” Joe’s comments finally came through. Wait, what? I moved one of my fingers aside and looked through the slit they made through my hands, letting in just a little bit of light.

“Wait, what?” I repeated from the inside of my head. That small part of me was trying to tell me I really wasn’t screwed after all, but I couldn’t afford to listen to that right now. But yet…

“I said who the hell could have predicted that after Boston was three games down. I thought they were done for sure. Man, I can’t believe they were able to overcome that. The Red Sox won the World Series. Who the hell ever thought I’d ever say that?”

I let go of a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. “I feel sorry for you Mickey,” Lauren’s voice whispered into my ear. “But maybe now you can stop doing this. It’s very destructive.” I laughed at that. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had been tricked into betting on the Red Sox, and I had won. Part of me wondered whether that was what was supposed to happen. At first I had thought the mysterious woman and her mysterious associates were going to try and show their influence and power to gain my trust and cooperation in whatever they needed me for. But then after it set in what exactly I had bet on, I had been under the impression that they were just trying to screw me over and get me so far in debt I was going to drown. Either way, I was ahead, and I was not planning on drowning.

I looked up from my hands with the biggest smile on my face. “Mickey, are you alright?” Pete and Carol both looked at me very oddly, as if I were about to go psycho and kill everyone. I can’t blame them for that though. Considering my look and thinking I had not bet for the Red Sox, what else would they think other than I had lost my mind?

“I am alright. I’m fine. I am more than fine. I am absolutely fantastic!!” I leapt out of my chair, knocking it over. “Guess who bet on the Red Sox, baby! I’m free and clear out of debt!” My announcement stunned my friends. Whatever they were expecting, it was not that. Certainly not.

“What in the HELL would possibly ever make you bet on the Red Sox? And when did you? It had to have been before you came here. You didn’t have time otherwise.” Eddie saying exactly what everyone else was thinking. Aside from the part that I must have lost my mind.

“Well, uh, you see. Uh, it’s kind of funny actually. I bet on them when they were down by three games to the Yankees,” I admitted sheepishly.

“You did WHAT?” Joe leapt out of his chair, knocking it over in disbelief. “Man Mickey, I know you’re good at reading people, but when did you turn psychic?” He looked at me with narrowed eyes. “What number am I thinking of?”

“Beats the hell out of me,” I replied. I then began to explain everything about the circumstances in which I had gotten myself. How I was in debt, about the mysterious woman, Karl, and that stupid idiotic bet that somehow had turned out okay. All of my friends expressed their opinions on how incredibly stupid I was, and that I should have come to them if I was in trouble. Sue was completely shocked. She knew her big brother had gotten into some trouble before, but this was ridiculous.

Pete shook his head in disbelief again. “Wow Mickey. Just, wow. How much were you in debt anyway?” I shook my head to that.

“I don’t know Pete. I just don’t know. Way too God damn much. Sorry Laur. But between Karl, back rent, credit card bills, another bookie or two, and the loan shark, it was a lot.” This prompted questions of “Loan shark, what loan shark?” but I ignored them. I didn’t want to have to tell anyone I had to borrow from someone who charged at interest rates in the several hundreds. “All that matters is that it’s over with, and I’m staying clean from here on out.”

“I don’t know why, but that reminds me. I got a phone call from someone named Lacie for you,” Joe said, but I don’t think anyone heard him, as he was instantly interrupted.

“At a boy, Mick!” Eddie cheered. “I give you, what, a month? Two at the most.” Carol hit him in the back of the head. “What? Come on!” Her glare silenced his protests though. Besides, she had other areas of the conversation she wanted to focus on. As did Lauren.

“Who’s Lacie?” they both said at the same time. Guess somebody did her Joe. The stopped and looked at each other, eyes full of surprise and suspicion.

I ignored them, since they were staring at each other for now. “What did she say?”

“Just that she’s sorry about your parents, and hopes your sister’s okay.” I nodded, and Joe glanced sideways at the two women. They were still staring at each other. Then, like mirror images, they shrugged and turned their demanding eyes towards me. “Well?” they repeated together.

“Just one of my information sources.” They kept staring at me, not saying another word. Pete looked at me skeptically. “She’s real useful.” Sue began to giggle and Eddie cracked a smile. “Really, she is!” I protested. Joe and Eddie joined Sue in her laughter, Pete shook his head, and Carol and Lauren looked at each other again, and then back at me.

“So what are you going to do about this mystery woman?” Joe inquired, coming to my rescue. You can always count on Joe changing the subject when you really needed it most.

“I don’t know. Wait for her to call back, I guess. What else can I do?”

“That’s not what I meant. What are you going to about her once she does call back.” I shrugged. I really had no idea. “She’s going to think you’re in her debt, for helping you out like that. I still don’t know how she did it. Maybe she’s the psychic.” I shrugged again.

“I don’t know what else I can do until I find out what exactly she wants. Obviously she’s got connections somewhere, if she can fix that. Or maybe she’s from the future! Yeah, that’s got to be it. Anyway, I am going to do everything I can to not piss her off. We’ll just have to wait and see what that is.” My last sentence carried a tone of finality. The conversation was over, and everyone else knew it. Next subject. But no one offered any, so I did it myself. “I have to get back to the city, now. But only for a few days. I have some things to take care of, and then I’ll be right back here.”

“Tell Lacie we said hi.” I looked at Carol, and she had a slight grin on her face.

“Well, next time I see her, whenever that is, I’ll be sure and do that.” I didn’t tell her that I would most likely be seeing her tonight. I went upstairs to gather my things. As I was throwing clothes in my bag, I heard a knock at my door.

I turned my head. Lauren was standing in the open doorway. “Hey there,” she said. I nodded at her, and went back to my packing. “I just wanted to say I appreciate that you haven’t been asking me anything about Peter.” I stopped, and stood up slowly, turning around.

“Well, I figured when you were ready to talk to me, you would do so. And obviously you weren’t ready, but after seeing you interact during breakfast…” I shrugged. “It’s none of my business anyway.” She came in close to me and gave me a hug.

“Thanks Mickey,” she whispered into my ear. “Thanks very much.” She pulled away, but stopped with her face nearly touching mine. “I don’t like this business with that woman. I’m worried…make sure you come back, okay?” I was about to tell her something along the lines of “Hey, don’t worry about me, baby,” or something equally smooth like that. But it came out as more of a “mmph” when she suddenly grabbed my face with her hands and kissed me. After a couple of seconds, she let go. My mouth dropped open. She bit her lower lip and smiled at me. From anyone else, I would have described the look she gave me as an attempt at seduction. But from Lauren? That was crazy! Absolute pure nonsense. I think it was more of an attempt to cover up her complete shock that she had just done what she had, in fact, just done. But then again… I touched my lips with a hand I noticed was shaking. Maybe Lauren wasn’t the only one who had changed in the last few years.

I stood for a few more moments, watching her walk down the stairs. This is crazy. Lauren’s gone crazy. The whole world’s gone crazy. Or maybe I’ve gone crazy. That would make more sense. I shook my head, and went back to packing.

After a couple more minutes, there was another knock on the door. I turned my head. This time, it was Carol standing in my doorway. “Hey there,” she said. Were she and Lauren merging into the same individual? They had been acting bizarrely similar recently. And I had a feeling this episode was about to be an example of déjà vu. “I just wanted to say that I respect you not wanting to talk about anything.” I stood and turned around slowly. “I had figured before you were ready to talk about everything to me. And obviously you weren’t ready. It’s none of my business anyway, but I just wanted to be there for you. She came in close and gave me a hug.

“Thanks Carol,” I whispered into her ear. “Thanks very much.”

She pulled away, but stopped with her face nearly touching mine. “I don’t like this business with that woman. I’m worried…make sure you come back, okay?” This was getting weird. I was about to respond in some way, I don’t know exactly what, but it ended up coming out as a “mmph” when she suddenly grabbed my face with her hands and kissed me. After a couple of seconds, she let go. My mouth dropped again. What in the hell was with these crazy women? I swear they were becoming the same person. Then Carol bit her lower lip and smiled at me, giving me the exact same look as Lauren had. This time there was no doubt what that look meant. I watched her go down the stairs.

This had been a crazy effing day.

NANOWRIMO Day 11: 3669 Words (16930 total)

Somehow, I don’t know how I got through the next few days. Sue was still unconscious, but the results had come back from whatever tests they had run on her. No sign of brain damage, or skull fractures, or spinal injuries, or paralysis, or anything else that was really, really, really bad. Now she just had to deal with everything else. But the doctors were sure she was going to be okay. She was still listed in critical condition, though much more stable than she had been. They were confident that she was going to be okay. Assuming she woke up again.

I was able to get everything for the funerals arranged, with a lot of help from everyone else. My parents’ house became the base of our operations, and my friends made sure I never spent the night alone. They took shifts taking care of what was necessary and too turns staying over. Somehow it worked out that Lauren and Pete were never there at the same time. Probably a good thing. I still didn’t know what was really going on there, and I wasn’t sure how they interacted when they saw each other. Hell, they might be on good terms for all I know. But I was grateful they kept even the possibility of a conflict or confrontation from occurring around me, whether by design or accident I don’t know. Lauren took care of all the arrangements regarding my parents themselves. They really weren’t in good shape. The mortician might have been able to repair their remains enough so that they would actually be presentable, but I didn’t want him to even try. It seemed like a hopeless cause to me. And besides, I don’t like being around bodies. Especially if I knew them in life. Pete made the arrangements with the church for services. He was a very religious and spiritual person, as was Lauren. I’m not really in to all that stuff. I don’t really know what I believe in as far as an afterlife, or in God, or anything. God had been too absent and too noticeably silent during too many events in my life for me to have any faith in a higher being. Take my parents for example. Where was God in that? But I knew my parents would want to have a service done by the local preacher, or pastor, or priest, or deacon, or whatever the hell they’re called now a days. I just didn’t want to handle it. I spent most of the time talking to the police and the insurance company and my parents’ lawyer, trying to get things settled. Well, I spent most of the time I wasn’t sitting by Sue’s bedside. Eddie and Joe took care of all the assorted other things that goes into funerals. I hadn’t gone to one in years, so I didn’t know what had to be done. Neither did Eddie, seeing as how he had been locked up for so long, but Joe had been to a couple, so he knew what to do. And Eddie was enthusiastic about helping in whatever way he could.

But probably the person who helped me out the most was Carol. That meeting had not been awkward, as I had suspected it would have been. She just showed up at my parents’ house shortly after I got there. Without saying a word she gave me a big hug, kissed me on the cheek, squeezed my shoulder and got to work manning the phone. Since she had been so close to the family, she knew everyone they knew. She fielded all the calls, told everyone what was going on, dealt with all of my extended family, visitors, and every one else. That was a huge relief. The one thing I didn’t want to do was deal with people telling me how sorry they were. I could deal with it from my closest friends, but that was all. Even though I hadn’t seen any of them in years, some of them in many years, I was closer to them than almost anyone else, including my family. Except for Sue. I was very close to my sister, and seeing her like this had hit me hard. Carol and I had barely spoken, but I was extremely grateful for what she was doing. Especially since she was doing it without even being asked.

We worked as an effective team, and when it came time for the funeral we were all ready. It was a beautiful service. Carol gave the eulogy. I didn’t speak. I didn’t know what to say. She did, though. Talked about how she had known my family for years, how she had watched Sue grow up, said we were all praying for her, said how my parents had done a great job raising both of us. The usual things people say about two people who had kids dying. There were a lot more people than I was expecting. I think I met Pete’s wife, and Carol’s husband, but I don’t really remember. I was still too disoriented inside to pay much attention. Things had happened so fast and changed so much in the last several days. Everything went well, though. It was a cold crisp cloudless day (something I hadn’t seen in God only knows how long) when I buried my parents into the ground. The horrible weather I was used to took a day off in honor of me, I suppose. How nice. I was like a robot at the reception. Thanking everyone for coming, thanking them for their thoughts and regrets, etc. I just wanted to check on Sue and get some sleep. After what seemed an eternity, everyone left, and I was alone with my thoughts. Well, almost alone.

About twenty minutes after everyone had left, the front door to my parents’ house opened, and then shut again. I was sitting in my dad’s favorite chair in front of the TV. I didn’t inquire as to the identity of this person intruding into my solitude. Whoever it was would make that clear to me soon enough. I just sat, staring at the blank TV screen. This is where my dad watched his favorite shows, the evening news, and whatever big football game was being played on Sundays.

A hand came to rest on my shoulder from behind. I put my hand on it, giving it a squeeze. I knew that hand. I had held it countless times, walking through the park with the leaves swirling around us in the wind, guiding it on the floor of a high school gym at a prom that seemed like an eternity ago, giving it a squeeze in a hospital bed after its owner had broken a leg in a bike accident, and holding it tightly as two teenagers fumbled through their first sexual experience. We had been through a lot, that hand and me. I felt a ring on one of the fingers. Once I had thought I would put that ring on it, naïve in my young days “in love”. I would never do it though. Oh, I would get married several times after that, but never to the one I had always thought I would. She wasn’t the only woman I had loved, but she was the first.

“Hello, Carol,” I said simply.

“Hello, Mickey.” Carol had one of the sexiest voices I had ever come across. Her voice caressed my ears, tickling them. There only one other person who could do the things Carol did to me with her voice. Not that I was likely to ever see her again. That night at the docks had seen to that. I rubbed my shoulder in memory of the pain. “Am I squeezing too hard?” she asked, slight laughter in her voice.

“No, I just, she, uh…” I took a breath to compose myself. “No, you’re not. I was just remembering something, is all.”

Her hand began rubbing my shoulder, and brushing up against my neck. I could feel the individual hairs standing up. “This make it feel better?”

“I, uh, yes, actually.” I hadn’t realized how much tension and stress was in my shoulders. “Thanks Carol.”

“Anytime. You know I like giving massages.” Her other hand began working my other shoulder as well.

“That’s not what I meant.” I put my hands on her hands, stopping her. “Thanks for everything you’ve done this past week. It’s really helped.”

“You’re welcome.” I looked up, staring at her upside down face looking over me with a look of amusement in her eyes. And something else. As I realized what it was, her hands grabbed my chin and pulled it up to her as she leaned down. Our lips met, and she kissed me very thoroughly. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried kissing somebody upside down, but it is quite an experience. Try it sometime.

Before I knew what I was doing, my hands had pulled up behind her head and had intertwined in her hair. I stopped, and pushed her away. “Carol, no. It’s, you, I., we…” She quirked an upside down eyebrow at me, ridiculing any possible reason I could have for pulling away from her. I put my hand on hers and touched her ring. “Carol, you’re married.”

Her eyes rolled, and looked back at me in anger, rebuking me for ruining the moment and reminding her of her obligations. “So? Being married was never an issue between us when it was you wearing the ring!” Ouch. But she was right. I had never treated my marriage vows seriously, except for the first one, but that only lasted a couple of months. What right did I have to start recognizing them now?

“I know, but this is different.”

“How?” she responded angrily. I shrugged, not really having any idea why I thought it was. “Besides, I thought you could use the company.”

“I do, it’s just…”

“Whatever, Mickey.” She pushed my head down roughly and withdrew her hands.

“Why did you do it?” I asked.

“I already told you why. It was never an issue before, and you could use the company with all the things you’ve been going through. Even you can’t hold all that pain inside. You have to let it out to somebody. Who better but me?” she demanded.

“That’s not what I meant. Why did you get married.” Boy, was that the wrong thing to say.

“Leave my marriage out of this!” I turned the chair to face her. She was livid. Seeing my face, she opened her mouth again, thought better of what she was about to say, and closed it. She closed her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and began speaking much more calmly. “Look, obviously you’re still dealing with everything and aren’t ready to talk. Let me know when you are.” Then her eyes narrowed. “Unless you’d rather Lauren comfort you. Maybe you can comfort her right back, considering Pete left her like a pile of rags on the side of the street.” Wow. I was not expecting that. Obviously there was some enmity between them that I had never picked up on. This was all very confusing.

“Carol, look, I..” But she didn’t get to find out what she was supposed to look at, as she barreled right over my response.

“Never mind. Forget it. We’ll talk later.” She shook her head swiftly, and I could hear her teeth grinding. “Oh, you almost made me forget why I came here. You were always good at pushing my buttons.” I was becoming very confused again. If she wasn’t here to comfort me, than what was she…? I rubbed my face with my hands, and then abruptly stopped when I heard her speak the three words I’ve been wanting to hear most. “Sue is awake.”

“Sue is awake? Seriously? When? Is she okay?” I leapt out of my chair, running for my coat and hat. The weather had started getting back to its normal condition of “shitty”.

“Yes, seriously. She woke up about fifteen minutes ago. Right after I got there. She asked for you, and I told her I’d go get you.” I was searching my pockets frantically for my keys, finding nothing. As I began searching the cushions on the chair, I heard some jingling behind me. I looked up, saw Carol holding them and breathed a sigh of relief. “Call me tomorrow, okay?”

“Absolutely.” I ran over and grabbed my keys from her as I put my hat on. “Thanks Carol. Thanks so much.” Without thinking I kissed her, quickly, but still a kiss. “Lock up when you leave, ok?” I shouted as I ran out the door into the gathering storm towards my car.

I didn’t see her as I left, standing in my doorway with a hand with a ring on one finger touching the lips I had just kissed. Our reunion had certainly been interesting.




I ran into the hospital, almost knocking an old lady over in my haste. I turned my head and waved as I continued on. “Sorry about that!” She gave me that look of disgust and outrage that old folks give anyone younger. I didn’t care how rude I had been. Sue was awake. Sue was awake!! I ran to her door, skidding to a stop. At least, that was my intention. It was more of a slide, turning into a slip, and then a fall, than a skid. Ow. I’m lucky I didn’t break my arm. My head shot up as I heard the most beautiful giggle I’ve ever heard. My eyes locked with Sue’s, delighted at seeing me, delighted at being alive, and delighted at me for making a fool of myself. As usual.

I stood up, brushing myself off and walked into the room with more grace than most people could manage after falling like an idiot. “Hey Seuss.”

“Hey Mouse.” She looked radiantly beautiful. Oh sure, she still had a hundred tubes coming out of her, looked paler than death, and just generally like she’d been run over by a truck (which she had, I reminded myself). But she was alive. And that look of awareness, life, and happiness in her eyes was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I felt like taking her in my arms and waltzing around the room. Probably not a good idea.

I sat on the edge of her bed. “Nice dress. You going to sleep the whole day away in bed?” We were always joking around. If she was up to it, we would have been wrestling playfully on the floor. She’s a tough little monster.

She touched the dirty hospital gown that she wore. “Oh, you like it? I was hoping you would. I spent hours picking out the right dress to welcome you home. And I have been in bed too long. What time is it?” Oh, sweet music to my ears! She was going to be perfectly fine, if she could respond like that.

“I don’t know, exactly.” I checked my watch. “Seven ish. If the warden releases you, you want to come to dinner with me?” Not that she was going to be released any time soon. “What do they normally feed you in here, anyway?”

“I’d love to come! Beats me what’s been on the menu. I gather I’ve been asleep, but I’m not entirely sure what they’ve been feeding me.” She cocked her head to the side and looked at me curiously. “How long have I been in here, anyway? And what the hell happened?”

“Almost a week. Wait, what do you mean what happened?”

“A week? Damn. I mean, how did I get here? What happened? One doesn’t normally wake up in a hospital with a bunch of tubes and with the feeling that I fell off a mountain and hit every rock on the way down.” She said this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You mean you don’t remember?” Oh man.

“Have you been listening at all? No, I don’t remember. Are you going to tell me, or what?”

“Ummm. What was the last thing you remember?” Oh man. How much didn’t she remember?

“Well, aside from waking up a little while ago and speaking briefly with Carol, and I mean briefly, the last thing I remember is getting in the car with mom and dad to go to church.” She frowned. “I didn’t think to ask Carol for them, for some reason. I didn’t really think you were in town, either. When did you get here? And where are mom and dad?”

Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit. I did not want to have to tell her this. Well, better me than some random doctor, I guess. “Seuss,” (that was my pet name for her, as hers for me was the aforementioned “Mouse”. No real story, there. When she was young, I used to read her Dr. Seuss books, and she used to watch a bunch of old Disney cartoons.) I began. Damn, this was hard. “You were in a car accident.”

“Well, I figured that much. Care to elaborate?” She sat there with her arms crossed. One of them was in a cast, the other heavily bandaged up from all the burns and cuts she had sustained.

“I guess it was on your way to church. You got hit by a truck. Ma and dad, were, were…they got the worst of it.” Her eyes widened, mouthing the word “worst”. I could tell by the dawning look of horror in her eyes that based on what she felt like, if they had taken the worst it was bad. Really bad. “They didn’t make it, Seuss.”

She gasped. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.” She kept repeating that softly to herself as tears welled up in her eyes. I leaned over and hugged her as tightly as I dared. I didn’t want to cause any more pain than what I had just done. She hugged me as tightly as she could, not caring about any physical pain right now. The emotional pain overwhelmed anything that could have hurt as badly as this. All she craved was the touch of her big brother, to share in the pain, and take it away.

“I’m sorry, kiddo. I wish I had been here. I should have come more often.”

“Stop that,” she half whispered, half sobbed into my ear. “Don’t you blame anything on anybody, least of all you. This was just senseless.” She held me tighter. “What happened to the truck driver?”

“Dead. He was drunk, the bastard.” She let out another small sob, and then let go of me. She leaned back and wiped her eyes with her hands.

“So senseless.” She shook her head, and took a deep breath. “Well, there will be time to mourn later. What can I do to help?”

I stared back at her blankly. “What do you mean? Help with what?”

“The funeral,” she said simply. Oh God, she still didn’t realize she had been under for a week. It hadn’t sunk in.

“It was today.” Her tears began anew.

“Oh my God. Oh my God!” I felt so useless. I held her tightly again. What else could I do?

NANOWRIMO Day 9: 1759 Words (13261 total)

I woke up the next morning to a nurse closing the door to Sue’s room as she exited. I leapt to my feet.

“How is she doing? Is she okay? Is she awake?”

The nurse smiled at me. “She’s still stable, yes I think so, and no she isn’t.” She touched my shoulder. “Good morning Mister Spillane. Why don’t you follow me and we’ll get you some coffee. That chair can’t have been a comfortable bed.” I nodded and followed her.

I had spent the night sleeping in the chair outside of Sue’s door. I had left explicit instructions that they should awake me immediately if her condition changed or if anything else was learned. Obviously this was not the case. I yawned, and accepted the coffee the Nurse got for me from the employee break room. It was black, very hot, and not much umph to it. I hate coffee. “Thanks.” She smiled at me again, and I headed back towards Sue’s room, sipping my nasty coffee as I went. Mmmmm, blessed caffeine.

Last night had been a real good time, and I realized afterwards that I had really needed it. I don’t know what that says about me, needing to get away from things when I had only been around them for a couple hours. But it was a good time. Last night it was just me, Joe, Pete, and Eddie.

Eddie looked great for someone fresh out of jail. Swore he was reformed, and living a productive life in society now, that Pete was his role model since he never got into any trouble. He was truly a model citizen. Or so he claimed. Time would tell on that one, but I suspected more than a little that Eddie would not mind performing a little bit of mischief if he got the chance. He got drunk last night, but didn’t do anything crazy. He was the only one of us who got drunk, actually.

Pete didn’t really open up about what he’d been up to. He really didn’t want to talk about the situation with Lauren or his wife (whose name is Ilyena. Definitely Russian.) other than saying that “things had changed.” Obviously he still had some issues to deal with, and that he would talk when he was ready. He drank plain old water. Joe joked that the “purified soul only needed simple sustenance,” like bread or water. Pete laughed a little about that, but Joe actually meant it. Pete was just one of those really good guys who was better than every body else. Call him righteous, Godly, a liar, or just plain old up tight, but you couldn’t get Pete to do anything wrong. Not even something that gave off the appearance of the possibility of being wrong in any way. Which is why the little love triangle that had developed was so curious. That just wasn’t the kind of thing that Pete would get into.

Joe and I both had sodas. Joe made some lighthearted jokes about everything, and went to join a couple of chicks who were batting eyes at us. Later on he called me over to go join them, which I did. Seems the blonde’s friend was interested. I wasn’t really interested, though. Not because of her, mind you. She had a nice body, and seemed like she knew how to have a good time. I just couldn’t get into it, what with everything going on. Joe went home with the blonde though. The man could charm anything with breasts. Well, maybe not really big fat guys.

I asked Pete to take care of Eddie and made my excuses to the nice young lady. She seemed disappointed, but I noticed Pete talking to her as I left. He would explain what I was in no mood to do. Another night, I would definitely have seen where it would lead. Maybe later on this week. And I could work the sympathy angle.

So I went back to the hospital and settled down in the extremely uncomfortable chair. Somehow I had fallen asleep. I tilted my head to the side, stretching it. It cracked very loudly. Ow. Maybe sleeping in the lobby would have been better.

I finished my coffee and got up to chuck it in the trash can. “He shoots!” The crushed paper cup bounced off the edge of the trash can.

“He misses.”

I turned at the voice to my left. It was Lauren. She was never the prettiest girl. In fact, she was just pretty enough that you might think she was pretty, if she was your type. She’d always been good, plain, down to earth Lauren. The kind of girl that would wait for her betrothed, or assumed betrothed, to return home so that they could get married, raise a family, and grow old together. Real nice girl. She bent down and picked up the errant projectile and tossed it into its destined final place of rest.

She came over, and neither of us said anything. She just hugged me, and I hugged back. It felt good to be hugged, especially by such an old friend. As we held each other, I thought about what it would be like to finally settle down with a girl like Lauren. Oh, I had “settled down” before, but the matches were always disasters, which didn’t make the settling down last very long. Lauren was the kind of person anyone could settle down with, and not be settling for what you could get. I liked Lauren. She was very “real”.

“Thanks Laur. I needed that.”

She smiled sadly as she let me go. “I know.” She put her head down, and said, “I’ve been praying for Sue, that she makes it out okay. And for your parents’ souls. And for you.” She looked up at me with a sad look in her eyes that matched her smile. “How are you?”

“Well, I’m doing okay.” She looked at me skeptically, and I realized I didn’t know how I was. I hadn’t really digested everything that had happened. How could I, in such a short time? “Well, maybe not. I don’t know how the hell I’m doing. I don’t know a lot of things right now.” She nodded, knowing that was the case all along. She had a real good ability to know exactly what you were thinking, especially if you didn’t even know. She’d do well in my line of work. She was a teacher, instead. I guess that ability worked well with keeping the kids in line. The eyes in the back of the teacher’s head type thing.

“Have you gone to see your parents yet?” she asked softly.

I shook my head. “I only got in last night.” Again, she nodded. It must be a real burden when you’re omniscient, having to ask questions and pretend you don’t already know the answer just so you don’t freak out the common mortals. She truly was a great person. She and Pete would have been a perfect match. I decided not to mention that unless she brought it up first. I respected her too much to bring up something that would probably cause her so much pain.

“Why don’t we go right now then?” she suggested.

“Right now? Well, I guess now is as good a time as any. Wait, ‘we’? You’re coming with me?”

She laughed softly. “Of course, silly.” She took my arm and guided me towards the exit. “You think you can handle anything without your friends? I’m surprised you were able to get here by yourself. You didn’t take a taxi the whole way, did you?” she teased me.

“Ha! I’m not that damn hopeless. Am I?”

She laughed again. “Oh, Mickey.” She shook her head. I forgot she doesn’t like swearing. I’d watch my tongue around her. Offending her would not have been a good idea. “No, you’re not entirely hopeless, though I do worry about you sometimes. You should come home more often.” From anyone else I would have taken that as faulting me for not being here at the time of the accident. But not from her. We reached her modest car, something only one living on the luxurious salary of a teacher could afford.

“I have been gone a long time.”

“We miss you, Mickey. All of us.”

“Yeah.” I really hadn’t been home at all. I wasn’t exactly avoiding it, I just enjoyed living in the city. That wasn’t really true. I don’t know why I never came back anymore. Maybe I couldn’t face my parents after she… God damn memories. I rubbed my shoulder. Some things in life I just will never understand.

Lauren glanced at me. But she didn’t say anything. That meant more to me than anything else anyone had done for me so far. Some things were just too painful to think about, especially right now.

We drove the rest of the way in silence. It wasn’t awkward, it was quite nice actually. Plus it was a short trip from the hospital, so it didn’t really get the chance to become awkward. Lauren got out, and I unbuckled my seat belt but stayed in the car. She came around to my side and knocked on the window. I rolled it down partially.

“You coming? Or do you plan on staying in my car all day?” I said nothing, just sitting there. Her voice softened. “Mickey, I know this is really hard. But you have to do this. Come on. Let’s go.” I sat for a moment longer, and then got out of the car. If she could deal with the loss (and betrayal?) of the love of her life, I could deal with this. She took my hand and squeezed it, and we walked to the door.




I got back in the car. That was one of the hardest things I had ever done. Lauren got back in the car and squeezed my leg. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I think so. Yeah. I am.” I was. “It was damn hard though.” She allowed me my swearing, for now. Though it wouldn’t continue, after this.

“I know. I’m proud of you. I know how hard that must have been.” She started the car. “I think you’re going to be okay. I’m glad.”

“Well, guess we’re doing closed caskets for the funeral.”

She glanced at me and smiled slightly. She knew if I was joking, no matter how sardonic and morbid it was, I would be okay. And I would be.

NANOWRIMO Day 8: 4317 words (11502 total)

The hour long drive actually took more like an hour and a half because of traffic. It seemed to go by in the blink of an eye, though. Maybe because I wasn’t really paying any attention to anything. My mind was completely blank, still trying to wrap itself around what had happened but coming up with nothing. No way in, no way to comprehend or fathom what had really occurred. I don’t know quite how I got through it without getting in an accident.

I pulled into a parking space. And shut off my car. I realized that I didn’t know where I had gone. I looked around at my surroundings and realized I had gone straight to the hospital. Maybe I was paying some attention. Or maybe my car just knew where to take me, and thought that it would leave me to my contemplation and emptiness. I walked up to the hospital and went through the doors.

The waiting room was near empty. That surprised me. Such a horrible event had occurred that certainly the room had to be filled with people anxious to hear any sort of news on their loved ones. My loved ones. My family. Shaking my head, I walked up to the window.

“May I help you, sir?” A young girl, probably around nineteen, dirty blond hair pulled back in pig tails. Receptionist. Probably trying to save money so she could go to school and get a job as a nurse one day.

“Uh, yeah, I’m here to see my, my sister.” I didn’t know if she was even still in the hospital, as Joe hadn’t said. He did say she was in stable condition, so I assumed she was here, but for all I know she’d been released by now. Or was dead.

“What is the patient’s name?” the girl asked mechanically. The patient’s name. She had no identity, wasn’t a living, breathing, human being who could feel pain. Just a patient. I despised this young girl, who was oblivious to the pain I hadn’t fully realized I felt yet. How dare she treat my sister with such obvious contempt and so little caring.

“Susan Spillane.” I tried with great difficulty to keep the anger out of my voice, and I think I succeeded. Sort of.

Her face softened in sorrow and pity. “Oh, you’re her, her brother? I’m so very sorry, Mister, uh, Spillane. She’s in room one hundred and nineteen, down the hallway on your left. I’m really, really sorry.” She probably took my anger as pain. Which it was, in a way. It was easier to feel hatred and anger right now than pain. She was just doing her job, anyway. Trying to be a professional. You can’t have too much compassion at a place like this or you’d get too depressed from all the suffering, I guess. I nodded to her, unable to speak, and walked down the hallway she indicated.

There was no one in the hallway but me. Up ahead, there was a single empty chair outside of one of the rooms. A coat was in the chair, forgotten by its owner. Had he been summoned into the room to hear how his friend was doing? In his haste, had he left the coat on the chair? Was he now sitting on the floor, weeping over a loss, without the warmth of the coat to protect him? Or was he in the room celebrating the good news, that whoever it was would be okay? As I came closer, I realized that the chair was outside Sue’s room. I felt a chill go down my back as I pushed the door open.

Sue was lying on a hospital bed, unconscious. At least, I think she’s unconscious. Yeah, there’s a machine hooked up to her that’s beeping at a regular steady pace. She has a bunch of tubing coming out of her, and a mask for what I assume is oxygen over her nose and mouth. She’s in one of those damn annoying hospital gowns. I hate those things. Never cover yourself up properly. She has some scrapes and cuts on her face, but she looks okay. Maybe she’s asleep. Maybe she is in a coma. God damn. One of her arms is not covered by the blanket and sheets. She has a big purple bruise over most of the length of her arm, plus what looks like a burn. God damn. My little sister.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you, Sue,” I said softly. God, I hate hospitals. Way too damn depressing. Shit, I can’t handle this right now. I walk outside. The chair is no longer vacant.

“Mickey!” The figure rises from the chair and embraces me. It takes me a moment to realize who it is. My mind, detached from the rest of my body and my pain and my misery, tells me it’s Joe. I hug him back. “I’m glad you made it, Mickey. You okay?”

I nod. “Thanks for waiting for me, or with her, or whatever. How, how is she?” I am not sure I really want to know the answer to that question.

“The doctors think she’s going to be okay. She’s been going in and out of consciousness. A lot of cuts and bruises, some burning. Mostly on her arm and her chest. And she broke one of her legs, and a foot, and a hand, and a couple ribs. Pretty much just banged around a lot. She also has something wrong with her back, and they think she might have some head trauma, but they’re not sure. Or they won’t tell me, at least. I’m not family, so...the only reason I know any of that is because I made friendly with one of the nurses.” He grinned. “We got a date sometime later, after…after everything is done.” He stopped grinning at that.

“Thanks for everything, Joe. I mean it.” I put my arm on his shoulder and squeezed. “I think I am really going to need your help these next few days. With, uh, with lots of things going on and everything.” God damn, this was hard. And I was purposefully NOT thinking about my parents. God damn it, God damn it!

He nodded. “I’m just glad I was home when you called. I haven’t left here since I heard about the accident, except to run home for a few minutes to track down some more numbers, and to make a quick sandwich.” He grimaced. “The food in the cafeteria sucks ass. Tastes like my shoes from gym class back in high school.”

I laughed at that. “I didn’t know you liked such delicacies. I have an old pair of boots I was thinking about chucking, but if you want me to save them for you for Thanksgiving, I can.” This produced another grin and a punch to my shoulder.

“Ass,” he proclaimed me. Ahhh, just like the good old times. Joe would never, ever change, no matter how much time went by. Take the nurse. He’s a bigger fan of the ladies than I am. Also, there’s something about a woman in a nurse’s uniform, apparently. I never really saw it, myself. I’m not a fan of the color white. But you wouldn’t know that by the number of times I’ve been married. Or maybe that’s why I don’t like the color. Either way, nurses just don’t do it for me. “A bunch of people have been by to check on Sue. A lot of them asked about you. In fact, I’m surprised no one is here right now. I guess because most of them are eating dinner right now, or something.”

The mention of dinner reminded me I had nothing to eat all day except bourbon, which isn’t exactly the healthiest of foods. “People have come by?” I don’t know why this surprised me. My parents were generally liked around town, and I know my sister was popular and had a bunch of friends. Myself, I had gotten into some trouble when I was younger, so not everyone liked me.

“Didn’t you see the flowers?” At my blank look, he pointed behind me and opened the door. There were flowers all over the room. I don’t know how I missed them the first time around. I guess I was too focused on Sue. Damn, there were a lot. And they had gotten here quickly. I said as much, to which Joe responded, “Word travels fast around here. You know that.” I smiled sadly. Word indeed did travel fast around here. Mostly through my ma. Too much pain for that, still.

“Who do I need to talk to, about, everything?” I was not looking forward to the next few days. But I had nothing better to do, and it was why I had come here. Though I did wish I could just sit and be with Sue. God damn.

“There will be enough time for that later. You looked like you haven’t had anything to eat in three days.” I nodded. It had, in fact, been a while since I ate anything. He sniffed. “Though you certainly have had your share of things to drink today. Can’t say I blame you, all things considered.” I nodded again, not telling him I had consumed it all before hearing from Joe. Nor did I tell him what exactly had made me drink it all. I pushed Karl, the woman, the Red Sox, and everything else from my mind. Time enough for that later. “Let’s go, Mickey.”

Joe led me down the hallway and out the door of the hospital, waving to the receptionist as we walked out. She giggled at us, Joe’s charm with the nurses, or future nurses anyway, working as usual. Then she nodded soberly. She knew we were just going out for a bit. We would be back. There was far too much to do.




We walked into one of the local establishments nearby the hospital. It was a dive, but it was close. And if I remembered correctly, the food wasn’t half bad, either. We ordered our food (burger and fries each, one well done for Joe, and one rare for me. I liked my meat still mooing.), and talked a bit while we waited. A few people came over to offer me their condolences, but for the most part we were left alone.

“So a bunch of people stopped by, eh? Anyone I should know about?” I said in between bites. The burger was bloody and juicy, just the way I like it. It’s certainly better than that crunchy slap of charcoal Joe was eating.

“Well, mostly friends of your parents, neighbors, that sort of thing. A few people from high school who happened to see me and wondered what I was there for. A bunch of Sue’s friends. Some of them are real cute, too. Too bad I couldn’t play the role of the grieving older brother. Though some of them did think I was you.”

“Got dates with them too?” He grinned, but didn’t answer. “Why I am not surprised. Don’t sully my good name, bastard.” We both laughed at that.

“Nothing I could do to make it more filthy. Umm, there were a couple of people who showed up, though. Carol was here before I was.” Carol was my old high school girl friend who I had left to go see the sights in the big city. She still stayed close with the family. When I was in town we would usually run into each other, and occasionally fool around, but nothing real serious.

“Yeah, how’s she?”

“Pretty upset. Married, too.”

“No shit! To who?” That was surprising. I didn’t think she’d have settled down. Also, I enjoyed seeing her when I was here. We always had fun together.

“Some random guy I don’t know. Happened a while back. Surprised you didn’t know. Didn’t your parents tell you?” He added some more salt to his fries.

“Hmmm. Now that I think about it, they did mention something about her about six months ago, but I never returned the call. Huh, Carol’s married. Damn.” This visit back home was full of surprises so far. Mostly unpleasant.

“Yeah. Eddie came by, too, as did Lauren.”

“Wait, Eddie? Fast Eddie? He’s out of prison?” Joe nodded. “Good for him!” Eddie was one of our close friends from high school. He got busted several years back for accessory to armed robbery. He was the driver. Plead a deal after someone fingered him. Most have gotten out on good behavior. Ha! That’s a thought. “Lauren. She still waiting for Pete?” Lauren was the nicest girl any of us had ever met. Better than all of us, too. She was madly in love with our buddy Pete, who had gone out of state to go to school for something I can’t pronounce. Been doing that ever since, and she’s been waiting this whole time. He was her perfect companion, too. Straight laced the whole way. Never lied about anything, even to save himself from trouble. Always did the right thing. Good guy.

“Well, she was, until a few months back.” He gave me a weird look. “You telling me you haven’t heard about this either?”

“No, what is it? She found someone else to sweep her off her feet?”

“Uh, no. Not quite. Pete came back a few months ago. Said he’d been in Europe after he finished getting his fiftieth degree. And he came back with his wife.”

I sprayed my water all over Joe’s face. “Wife???”

“Thanks for that.” Joe wiped his face off with his napkin, then kicked my shins under the table. “Yeah, some Russian chick or something. Can’t remember her name. Lena, or something like that. Big surprise for everybody all around. She was, uh, surprised, to say the least.” He looked uncomfortable.

“Yeah, I’ll say. I thought they had an understanding? She’d wait for him til he was done with everything and then come back for her. Then all that happy ever after bullshit.” Damn. If Pete had ditched Lauren for some random European broad, shit. That was not like him at all.

“I thought so too. So did she. I guess not.”

“Yeah.”

“He came by too. Told me to tell you he’d stop by later on, and if you needed anything, he’d do whatever.” The waitress took our plates and left the bill.

“Yeah.” We paid, and left in silence. Carol married was one thing, but Pete getting to married to anyone other than Lauren was just unthinkable. About as likely as the Red Sox winning the World Series.




I opened the door to Sue's room and stopped dead. Joe bumped into me from behind. "What's up Mickey?" He tried to get a view over my shoulder.

A doctor was leaning over Sue, muttering something as he wrote something down that he apparently derived from one of the many electronic instruments surrounding her. He glanced up at the intrusion, and stuck his pen inside his pocket. "Good evening. May I help you?"

"I sure damn hope you can. I'm her brother. Can you tell me what's going on?" I may have been a little abrupt, but I didn't really care at this point. I just wanted to hear that my little sister was okay and that she was going to be okay.

"I certainly can, Mister Spillane. I am Doctor Armstrong. Let me start by offering my condolences. I knew your parents. They were good people." I didn't respond to this. Right now, all I wanted to hear was that Sue was going to be okay. "Your sister was very lucky, Mister Spillane."

"Lucky??" I yelled. "You call this lucky??" I gestured at the seemingly lifeless body of Sue, full of wires and looking very little like my vibrant care free sister.

"I certainly do. She is the sole survivor of a very gruesome accident. Have you seen what the others loo-, that is, she is lucky to be alive." He began to read off of his clipboard, detailing her injuries. Miss Spillane suffered second and third degree bruns over thirty percent of her body. She broke three bones in her left hand, one in her right leg and two in her right foot. She broke three ribs on her left side and one on her right. One of the ribs punctured her left lung, and her other lung collapsed. She has bruising and cuts over most of the rest of her body, suffered kidney failure, and did some sort of damage to her back. We're not sure what exactly, yet. We are waiting the results of some tests. Similarly for her head. We think she may have fractured her skull, but we are not sure. She suffered a deep cut to the back of her head and lost a lot of blood. Also, she has had severe internal bruising. Mister Spillane, if your sister were not in such good shape and were not so young she would have died before she came here. As it is, we've done everything we could just to keep her alive. She is in critical, but stable condition. We can't know the full extent of her injuries until the test results come back, but all in all she's lucky to have survived such massive injuries."

Jesus Christ. God damn shit. No wonder he said she was lucky. "Thank you Doctor. I appreciate everything you've done. I am just still soaking it all in, I guess. And I haven't had time to go see..." I trailed off. He nodded. He'd done this all before. "Is she sleeping, or just unconscious, or in a coma, or what?"

He hesitated. "She has been awake at times. Not in the last several hours however. She has been able to converse clearly, as she did with the gentleman standing behind you, but also at times shown very little awareness of where she was. We do not think there has been any brain trauma, but we really just do not know right now. We should know more tomorrow. But we don't expect her to wake up anytime soon." I didn't know how to take this at all. Part of me was ecstatic that she was just alive, but the other part of me wanted to cringe just lookign at her. All I knew was that if the other driver wasn't already dead, he would have been after I was through with him.

"Why don't you let me finish what I'm doing here. I believe there is someone in the waiting room who is, well, waiting for you."

"Huh? Oh, right. Right. Wait. Do you, um, do you know where my par...where they are?" That was the hardest thing I've had to say today. Oh my God, my parents.

He had a look of sympathy on his face. "I think they're at the morgue, Mister Spillane. You'll want to speak to the police officer who was first on scene, as well, I'm sure. The receptionist can give you more information." I stared at the floor. Well, nothing I could really do here. I took one last look at Sue, nodded to the Doctor, and turned and went out the door.

"Damn dude. That's a lot more serious than I thought." Joe walked down towards the waiting room with me. "I'm sorry, man."

"Yeah, me too. At least she's alive." God, I do not want to do this. I don't think I could handle seeing my parents right now, after all that I had just seen. Not tonight anyway. Tomorrow, maybe. God damn. This was not a good day.

"Mickey." Joe nudged me and jerked his head to one corner of the waiting room. "Look who it is." I glanced over, and saw Pete rising out of his chair. Pete. I haven't seen him since we graduated. Holy shit.

"Pete. Damn, it's good to see you." I shook his hand.

"You too, Mickey. I wish it was under different circumstances. I'm sorry for your loss. If there's anything I can do for you..."

I shrugged. "Thanks Pete. Thanks." I glanced down at his left hand. Sure enough, there was a ring there. "Holy Mary mother of God! Joe wasn't bull shitting me! You are married!" I looked into Pete's eyes. As usual, I couldn't tell what was going on behind them. Now, I'm a real good judge of people, like I said. I can read people like nobody's business. I know when someone's lying to me, when they're holding back, and what they generally are planning to do. Maybe after I retire from my life as a private eye I'll go to Vegas and try my hand at being a professional poker player. Anyway, Pete was one of those people who was just totally unreadable. And he always told the truth. Which you'd think would make him a terrible poker player. But when he went in, everyone folded unless they had a damn good hand.

He looked right back and replied, "That is so. You will have to meet my wife later on."

I hesitated, not sure that I really wanted to ask what I really wanted to ask. Ah, the hell. With everything going on right now I could be excused a bit of rudeness. "What about Lauren?"

This time his eyes did do soemthing other than stare back into mine. They changed slightly. Showing a feeling of...was it pain? Yes. Pain, suffering, hurt, agony. I knew that look, as I knew it was in my own eyes right now. He closed his eyes briefly. "Things change. And sometimes some things just aren't meant to be." Then he added, in a much softer voice that I don't think I was supposed to here, "no matter how much you want them to be." He sighed. "That's not why I am here. I thought, all thigns considered, you would need some cheering up. What do you say to a night with us guys, huh? You, me, Joe, Eddie, anybody else we can find. The old group back together again. What do you say?" I heard Joe murmur his agreement, and a bit of a surprise.

"You sure your wife will let you out?" I teased. It was very easy to fall back into the old roles, even fi I normally would have said Lauren in that sentence.

Pete grinned crookedly. "I think in this case she'll understand."

Joe whistled. "Defying the old ball and chain already, Pete? She'll let you hear it when you come back, for sure." I laughed.

"No she won't. She will do no such thing. I am sure she will be happy about what we're doing." I raised an eyebrow at him.

"She already knows, does she?"

He glanced at me, and then sighed. "Yes, she does."

Joe howled with laughter. I grinned, and slapped Pete on the back. I really needed this time away from it all. Things would still be there for me tomorrow. Besides, who could resist a night ragging on Pete? And I knew there was something else going on with the whole love triangle thing. I'd get it out of him before too long. I always did.